unexpected life events

Start/Resume

2012-02-06T13:08:00.002+08:00

Okay, I have started my journal, but instead of hand writing it, I downloaded an iPad app which have a pass key.

I also resumed my low-carb diet and started my One Month to Live book.

I will resume my gym work next week.

Memory

2012-01-26T16:57:00.000+08:00

I was awaken this morning an hour before my alarm by the ringing of my phone. It was my mum. I rejected her call and called her instead. She then old me of a story wherein my aunt went to a school and met my Grade 1 teacher Ms. Teresita Trillana (she's married now but I don't know her married name). When my teacher saw my aunt, she asked about me, asking where I am, if I am still wearing eyeglasses and if I am married.

It is just amazing that she still remembers me, even if it is because of how bad my eyesight is. Truth is, I do remember her too. My memory of my 1st grade in primary is quite vivid.

But it would be more thrilling and exciting if I will be remembered by my future descendants - through my own children and nephews and nieces - as a woman who earnestly seek God and who lived God's plan. That would be a precious and lasting memory.

Faith Goals 2012

2012-01-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

1. Start Journal - it doesn't necessarily mean to update this blog everyday, because not all of my thoughts are for blogging. But I intend to write in a notebook or print out and paste in the notebook when thoughts are coming so fast that my hand can't keep up. Why do I want to start? Back in high school, I had a diary where I keep all the records about my encounter with a crush. My relationship with Jesus is much more meaningful and exciting than that of a high school crush and I want to read the journal again some day and tell to my kids the amazing journey I am having with God. One thins is for sure, that I will not end up burning this journal and those yet to come.

2. Be consistent and faithful in Daily Bible Reading - I have to make this a habit, not only in the mornings before I leave for work, but also every night before I go to sleep. If I want to really walk with God, I have to know what He wants to tell me and not always me telling Him what I want.

3. Stop procrastinating - don't leave for tomorrow what I can do today. Simple, I get to accomplish things early and there will be less clutter.

4. Give best at work - even if I know that I may be leaving Singapore for good this year, I don't want to leave things half-done. How can God entrust me with something bigger if I can't give my best with the small things I have now, besides I should always remember that I work for God, and not for man.

5. Save - I intend to set aside a hundred dollars and have it deposit in my newly opened bank account in the PH, and also to increase that amount as soon as I finish paying the debt I accumulated when I was on my holiday.

6. Incessantly pray for family and friends - Never stop praying for my family, for Reigne and Reese, for Riel, for Renz, for my parents, for my nephews and nieces, that they will start afresh with their walk with God, that in God's mercy, He will extend His hand to them. pray for favor for the custody of R&R and financial freedom. Continually pray for good and loving relationship for each and everyone in the family. To pray for friends, that they will start trusting God alone and not any other idols nor persona, that they will learn the truth and so they will have their own personal relationship with God.

7. Japan - either to live there for the next 30 years or to just go on a trip. I am believing that this year, God's promise will be fulfilled. Also, to pray for the nation, that more workers will be called to the wonderful nation and that one day Christmas will be a holiday (because there will be a significant number of Christians that the government will have to declare the holiday for the believers).

8. Husbands - We're believing that this year, Almira and Liezel will get married Just that.

9. Disciples - That Yanfen will not be the last, that I will be able to share to other people too. That Shiryo will read the book I sent him and that his curiosity will rise and that I will also be able to share to him.

10. Lose weight - even if I have to cut FF membership in May, to jog at least 5 times a week and to continue the low-carb diet which proved to be effective for me.

32

2012-01-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

The number might not be found in a normal calendar, but it sure does a very meaningful number.

Yup, I just celebrated my 32nd birthday and believe it or not, I just really don't care about my age anymore, I am just happy and blessed that i get to add yet another year to my earthly life.

More than anything, I am grateful for so many things in life, rather than sulk that I am a year older but it seems that I haven't gone that far in life. I mean, in terms of career or love life. But all those don't matter, because I got God. It's His role now.

I will be posting my faith goal for this year tomorrow. ^_^ This year will be my best year yet, I believe that this year God will be more glorified, promises will be fulfilled and prayers will be answered. To God be the Glory!

What Do You Want?

2011-12-06T15:24:00.001+08:00

My devotion for this morning goes like, if you are standing right in front of Jesus, and Jesus said "I saw you following me, what do you want?". What would be your answer?

At first, I thought, "Japan!". But then, I thought of something much more important than my dream to go to Japan. And that's my dream to be with all of my loved ones in Heaven. I prayed that God will call of them, tug at their hearts so they may follow them also. The thing is, that is also what God wants. He wants everybody to go back to Him.

So I went back to my personal want, "Japan". But just like what Pastor Josh said last Sunday Service, let God's promise come to me. His will happen naturally, it will just happen. Let us not force it to happen. Liek a butterfly, you cannot force it to get out of the cocoon, it will become a butterfly in it's time. It is, after all, God's plan for it to become a butterfly.

So, what would you answer Jesus when He asks you, "What do you want?".

The Name above all names

2011-12-01T09:55:00.001+08:00

Last night, just after my 1-to-1 with Yanfen, I heard my phone's notification for an email. I checked and was surprised to see an email from a good friend, Shiryo. He said he changed job already and has also moved to Iwakuni Prefecture near Hiroshima. He said that he went back to China in October because his father was sick, but now he's getting better. Then he asked me if I want to work in Japan.

I replied, telling him that I will pray pray for his father's health. Then I asked him if there's any job hiring there that he know of and where can I send my resume. It was a half-meant joke, by the way.

What really surprised me is that when I told him that I pray that he will be blessed and that one day, I will be able to talk to him about Jesus.

I seriously don't know if he heard the Name Jesus. But at that moment, I know it's the Holy Spirit nudging me to mention the Greatest Name of All Time to him. I find it weird but I just typed it anyway. He's a friend and I want him to know Jesus.

I just really hope that he will respond to the Name. The Name above all names.

Peace

2011-11-23T10:13:00.001+08:00

It is often said that all those beauty pageants' primary goal is to achieve world peace. That's why there's a long standing joke on the contestants' answer to every Q&A which is "World Peace". Even Iron Man Tony Stark was just too happy to announce that he successfully privatized World Peace. Those people who cannot think of anything to put on their wish list for Christmas, will scribble World Peace on top spot. Kung Fu Panda Poh worked hard to attain inner peace.

Lot of people nowadays wish to get away from the hustle of the city to get some relaxation and peace and quiet. Still, some wishes for peace of mind. If we read the news now, we will read of peace talks, either ongoing, initiating or already failed.

Peace, it seems, is very elusive. But it should not be. With my own mouth, I can tell you that I've been enjoying peace for quite some time now. It started when I learned to forgive, then slowly it grew as I learned to be contented. It blossomed when I learned how to be patient in waiting. And everyday, it is being nourished by the Word of God.

You see, when we have peace, there will be joy in our heart that we cannot explain. With my own experience, I really just need to smile or laugh it out. Peace is overflowing in my heart that I cannot contain it. But this peace, of course, could only come from the Lord. The assurance that I am forgiven, saved and loved. The joy of serving and waiting on Him. The gladness that comes from being in fellowship with fellow believers. Grateful that I have a faithful God whom I can trust wholly and never fails. So blessed knowing that I am living God's plan. Overjoyed that I have an Amazing, Awesome, Powerful, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient and Loving God. I am swimming in God's grace.

Really, when God grants us peace, nothing can take it away from us, unless we permit it. And by the way, God's peace is sure to make us look and feel younger.

Ask God for His peace today.

Job 22:21

Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you.

Romans 14:17

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

In My Own Dessert

2011-11-03T10:41:00.003+08:00

My residency application was rejected. I received the letter yesterday.

I am not sad nor disappointed. If anything, I am excited. This is God's answer. Definitely His answer. He doesn't intend me to stay here for a long time. And I kind of think that I am now in my dessert on the way to my promised land. But instead of 40 years, it might only be 4 years. I don't know exactly. But one thing I am certain. He answers prayers.

Being in the dessert doesn't mean that it's a dry season for me. Just like with the Israelites, God has showered me with manna everyday. I am thankful for Singapore, and I pray to God that He will bless this nation more and more, but this is not my destination. Now, I more confident, knowing that God intends me to leave the dessert onto my promised land.

Only the Best

2011-10-06T22:06:00.001+08:00

My youngest brother, Renz, had his interview in the US Embassy today. This is his second time in trying ti get the US Visa which is essential for his job. But for the second time, he eas denied.

Funny thing was, there was only one window opened when he arrived at the embassy, and every application was approved. His number was 124, however after 123, the nunber 125 was called. He got confused. Then another window opened and his number was called for that window. And that was when his request for visa got denied.

It is just a wonder how can that happen. His number was skipped for some reason not known. It might be a system bug or a user error, we will never know. Though I'm sure that it is not a coincidence; God's Hands were at work, He have better plans for Renz, where a measly US visa is not needed.

But I also acknowledge that my brother was hurt and disappointed. He believed, he fasted and prayed. But he never got the results that He prayed for. but he also know that it is just a test of faith and that He is destined for greater things.

Soon enough, we will know why what happened today happened, though it may be puzzle right now, but I know that trusting God is enough. It will all come to pass.

Hurtful truths or Comforting lies?

2011-09-24T22:26:00.001+08:00

When something happened concerning the people close and dear to you, would you want to hear the truth which may hurt deeply or be comforted with lies?

For myself and my own personality, I'd rather hear the truth even if it's painful. And I've done just as that. Four years ago. During the Masi saga. Midori-san was kind enough to tell me what he exactly said, maybe being a Japanese and all, they are really honest.

It hurt me, that time. But it also helped me move on, and realized that I deserve someone better, only God's best. Had I not been told the truth, I might still be hoping. And that is like a wound that never heals. Truth may sting for a while but it heals, it make us a better person.

Of Weddings and Baby Showers

2011-09-24T01:10:00.001+08:00

Girls normally dreams about her wedding; excited for the big day to come. By the time the girl becomes a lady, she still dreams about it but not as often. When the lady becomes a woman and the dream wedding hasn't been realized yet, comes another dream: babies.

It is never easy to wait, especially for a woman past her 20s. Waiting for things to happen, waiting for God's promises to be unveiled. Believing in our heart that God always, always answer prayers but the shroud of impatience tend to manifest.

My two best friends are married, both with a son each. My cousin in Dubai and I are the only single left in our generation, but she is currently in a relationship.

I don't want to deprive myself of expressing my feelings. God knows them anyway, so there's absolutely no point in pretending.

I want to patiently wait on the Lord. I just want to be excited and have God prepare me for that day. Good things come to those who wait. And I really don't want to settle for something less than what God have for me.

It is just sort of painful whenever I hear someone I know is already getting married, or that she is on her 3rd pregnancy. Then people will turn to you and asks the most asked question in the history of single women: When are you getting married? I just try to be polite and say: Only God knows.

To married, involved, engaged or in a relationship people: you were once single and unattached, you are not helping us singles by rubbing in our face that wedding bells is so far from our reality. Do you know what you can do? Pray for us. It will do us both good. Don't make the waiting difficult for us; don't lure us into the ocean of jealousy and self-pity. Be an encourager and a prayer partner.

God is faithful, the waiting time will come to pass. In the meantime, there's nothing better to do than be prepared and soak myself in God's presence.

It will all come to pass.

Blurred

2011-09-20T23:00:00.001+08:00

As I am typing this from my iPad, I am not wearing my contac lens nor my eyeglasses. I left my gym bag in the office wherein my eyeglasses are in, and I know better than to wear my contact lenses longer than 12 hours. Hence, I am now typing while squinting on the screen.

My eyesight has been bad as long as I remember. Unlike others who damaged their eyesight by watching too much tv or reading books, mine was noT. Thanks to my kindergarten teacher who noticed that for every letter i wrote, i had to come up infront of the blackboard and make the trip back to my seat.

Most people asks me if I consider to undergo lasik. My answer is notbyet. As of the moment, i have no interest. Lasiknis noy yet proven 100% effective, there are cases of going back to the old eye grade. Besides, it's too expensive for me. I just don't want to waste moneybon something not certain, especiallybthat my eye defect is inborn.

And just like I always say, I am happy that with my eyes, I can count the stars that I can see at night. Can you? That's how God amazingly created me ^_^

Stress-proof

2011-09-19T22:10:00.001+08:00

I admit that the past three weeks have been so stressful for me. Climax was Friday last week, when feeling the pressure and the urgency in what I am doing, I just cannot do anything but to run to the ladies' and cry in silent prayer to God, claiming God's peace and favor to surround me.

The stress was not about the amount of work, it was the pressure of knowing that the higher ups are waiting for whatever I was doing and there are some issues I still cannot resolve.

Throughout it all, I constantly felt God's peace within me. I didn't worry, I didn't give up, I just turned to Him for help; because I acknowledge that however hard I try to resolve the issue at hand, I can never do it by myself. As expected, God indeed gave me wisdom and help. That's why during my date run with Church mate Emz and office mate Eunice, I just can't stop smiling, I can't hide the gladness and happiness I was feeling. Correction, still feeling.

Just like what was in the One-2-One book, being a Christian doesn't mean having a storm-free life, rather a storm-proof life. In the last three weeks, it was definitely not stress-free, but God made me stress-proof.

******************

I liked the walk/brisk walk/jog/run that Emz, Eunice and I did last Saturday, that I intend to do it weekly and soon, nightly. That's of course on top of going to the gym in the mornings.

I get to have a social life and get fit. ^_^ God's love never fails.

Rest

2011-09-10T20:37:00.001+08:00

For the last two weeks, I was really busy, and it hasn't ended, as it will continue for the coming weeks. The stress level is unimaginable, but with God's help, it was manageable. It wasn't easy but If I just remember that I have the grace and help of the Mighty One, everthing seems so easy.

What I noticed with myself is that I really don't worry nowadays even if there's a problem with the system or my boss is already slightly raising his voice. If my stress level is high, I can't even begin to think how was his. I guess, knowing that I am working for God, I really tend to give my best but not worry.

Today, I planned on watching movie after gym, but I just came home and lazied around. I know that I need rest, my sabbath. And today, I achieved that. Hod wants me to rest too that's why all the issues we have to fix has been fixed as of last night. Amazing God, He is. I received a messgae this morning asking for my assistance in ushering ministry. At first, I wanted to decline and say that I still need rest from work. But in the end, I accepted yhe request. You know why? Because I know that I will have more rest if I serve God first.

And since I will be waking up early tomorrow, it's now time for me to turn in. Praise God who knows me inside and out. Glory to God who is ever faithful abd fulfill His promises.

Soon enough, I will be receiving His promises which I claimed long ago.

Simple Math

2011-09-05T20:42:00.003+08:00

I often hear people say that they crediting off their sins whenever they do something good or when they go to church. I know that it was supposed to be a joke, but somehow I know that it was half-meant, that they do believe that, because once, I too, believe the same.

The thing is, the Book of Life is not like a ledger wherein, like in accountancy, you can debit good deeds and credit bad deeds. That would be to complicated and that's a very hard math! All I know is that once your name is in the Book of Life, it's a done deal. And to be able to put your name in the Book of Life, it is just a very simple math. Just add Christ into your life and subtract sinning. I think when we add Christ in our lives and we really strive to seek God, sinning will be on auto negation.

And besides, once we repent sincerely, God forgives all our sins, erasing it as if it never happened. Erased! Deleted! Forgotten! Forgiven! Not just take some off and leave some because the good deeds are not enough. At the end of our lives, isn't it bothering that no one on earth will tell you that you've done enough good deeds that you've zeroed out all your bad deeds?

God has devised a plan to make things simple for us. And He did that by giving us Jesus, who died for our sins, so we may establish personal relationship with God and have confidence with our faith in Him. God has laid out His plan for salvation, all we have to do is to do as what he said. Accept Christ as our Lord and Saviour. And when we do that, we will find that it's but natural to want to be Jesus' disciple and share the good Word of God.

Heart Guard

2011-09-01T23:04:00.003+08:00

Normally, when we pray about our love life or when we pray for someone in regard to possible relationship, we ask God to guard our heart from feelings and emotions that are not meant. Meaning those feelings and emotions that were magnified by the moment.

I must admit that I didn't pray that way 4 years ago. If I had known, I would have. Not that I regret the feeling but I could have spared myself from the hurt, frustration and sadness.

Guarding our heart does not only apply to love life. It applies generally to our relationship with people. Guard our heart that we won't jump to conclusions; guard our heart that we won't easily judge; guard our heart that we won't mislead other people; guard our heart that we won't speak ill of other people.

The bottom line, I guess, is our character. If we are confident on the foundation of our character, I think we are safe. But as they say, being a human being, we are prone to failing and committing same mistakes over and over again. So if we build our character in Christ, we may have lapses but it will a learning block in our foundation, because for sure, we will repent and ask God's grace so we may conquer the failure, in the present and in the future.

Even at work, we should pray to guard our heart and not jump to decisions in a blink of an eye. Sometimes, we are just really tired of our work and wishing to get out and get a new one. Even in this area, we can ask for God's abundance of grace to guard our heart against stress that may make us decide harshly and foolishly.

If one decision or word or action is based on our meditation of the Word of God and our constant communication with God, as well as in discussion with the family or spiritual family, then I guess it is safe to say that our heart is guarded against our own biases and misgivings, because God can speak through other people. How amazing God's grace is.

Theme Songs

2011-08-31T22:27:00.001+08:00

I've known for a long time that songs or specific fragrance can make me remember things, events, people and even emotion.

For instance, there's this cologne that whenever I smell it, I just remember my high school days. Hairspray OST never fail to remind me of my time in Matsuyama, especially the song "Welcome to the '60s", I just can't stop from remembering the times I will just take my bike, go around and around with really no clear direction; actually, I kind of feel the cold winter wind brushing on my face every time I hear/listen to the soundtrack.I don't think I will ever forget that feeling.

Now, I wonder what was the song playing when I get saved. But the thing is, I do not need a theme song to remember what God has done for me. That He gave me His only Son Jesus to die for me. All Christian songs actually should trigger the story of salvation in our memory. That's the very reason I like listening to Today's Christian Music when in the office. It's like reminding myself that God is my help and my salvation, all I have to do is to call on Him and acknowledge that there's nothing I can accomplish on my own. Everything that I have now, everything that I know, every skills that I possess, those are all from God. A gift.

I know that the memory of biking around Matsuyama will never fade even if I listen to the Hairspray OST or not. And I know that those will not be the only memories I will have of the city. ^_^

Assurance

2011-08-30T19:27:00.003+08:00

Genesis 28:15 "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

I know that when I read this verse this morning, it's God assuring me that He will bring me back to the land of my dreams. He promised me that, so it's a done deal. It's sealed, stamped, sent of for delivery and now I am waiting for it to come.

Whenever I feel a little bit impatient, God will assure me, telling me to wait because it will surely come to pass. It's because God knows me and He knows how to comfort me, how to make me stay put. He knows I am stubborn at times, always like a little girl impatient about what I am promised.

I like living here in Singapore, it's so convenient, so near to the Philippines and I already got lots of friends. I am blessed with a wonderful Spiritual Family. But still, this land is not where my heart belongs to. But I am thankful to the Lord for this land, for blessing me through this nation.

I know that the realization of God's promises in my life is so near. It's just around the corner, it is just there.

It's only the second day, and it's funny that the answer I got today is totally different from my question. So I think God is telling me that I am asking the wrong question. But it still too early, I still have 31 days to confirm.

Guilty

2011-08-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

... is the title of the Japanese drama I just finished watching. I love the ending song, which you can watch and sing along firt.

Anyway, the main plot was, 15 years ago, a 19 year old girl named Nogami Meiko was framed in the murder of her nephew and brother-in-law which resulted in her older sister committing suicide and her mother completely disowned her.

She was released on a parole because of good behavior and works at a pet salon. During this time, she was already planning on her revenge. In her pursuit of the truth behind what happened 15 years ago and punishing the people who robbed her and her family a happy life, she met Mashima Takuro.

I won't reveal much of the story as it really is nice and exciting to watch. But I have to mention the ending without giving out too much. Just as Meiko was assured by Mashima that he will wait for her, after killing the real criminal, someone (let's call that someone Person A) close to Meiko confessed that Person A was actually the one who egged the real criminal into doing something unlawful just to see how many people he can set in motion. All of that was because Person A just wanted revenge on the real criminal's father.

That's how powerful words are. Something spoken out of despise may blow out of proportion and cause the lives of many.

The message in the church this morning is about forgiveness. How fitting! If only that person forgave, Meiko could still have her family. Meiko could have lived a happy life.

Just like what Pastor Charles said this morning, forgiving is not easy. It is always difficult, that's why we need to ask God to give us grace and to set our hearts right.

As a personal testimony, I can tell you that with forgiveness, comes multitude of blessings in different ways. I got rid of the hatred in my heart. I got peace, I was rewarded with joy. Financial blessings and promotions at work came just a month after setting in my heart to forgive and extending my hand to show my sincerity. My brother didn't just accepted my hand, he hugged me and cried.

I know that even long ago, I've always looked younger than my real age. But I know that after that reconciliation, I've shone more. I've smiled more. Because I have peace and joy in my heart. I feel God's love and I am just sharing it. In return, I've looked younger than ever. The last time I was told, they thought I was 10 years younger!!! Better than all those age-defying creams!

This morning, I asked God to dissect my heart for any more unforgiveness. I don't want to carry any bitterness it won't do me good. It won't make me grow in faith. In the end, my high school life came back to memory. Something that I thought I've forgotten already. i even write previously about them, I wrote a letter for them, which I have removed weeks ago. I removed it because I don't want anyone from that time of my life read it. I don't want to cause hurt. I should have not published it. I should have just wrote it and then delete without publishing. But that's done and I don't think anybody really read that one.

This morning, I asked God to grant me grace to completely forgive them. I am aware that we were all immature at that time. But I've also realized since college, that I'm thankful for that event, otherwise I would have not came out of my shell. Like what I was saying, I went from being an outcast in high school to being a confident, friend-of-all campus politician.

This will be the last time i will be blogging about that incident in high school, and I will never talk again about it. This is the end of it. So even if they haven't invited me to the reunion event in Facebook, it's okay. I think it's better that way. I wouldn't be able to attend anyway.

Forgiveness is the essence of Christianity.

missing friends

2011-08-14T20:52:00.001+08:00

Last year, I went home three times. On my 30th birthday (4 days), the EN2010 World Conference (4 days) and November (2 weeks). Now it's been nine months that I haven't seen home, my nieces and nephews and my friends.

Though I did meet my parents in Macau in May, and teJing and teMalou came in SG in June; it's still a different feeling when I get to see them in familiar environment.

Though I do not miss working in my country, I miss the unplanned watching of movies, or dinner dates, or finding a chocolate shop just because we like to.

One time, we had dinner, then had coffee, then deciding to hang out together till morning, we loitered in a fast food ordering finger foods and drinks and feasted on each other's stories. It was the last night that all of us were together. Xelle was there.

I missed having Christmas dinners and birthday dinners and despedida dinners with them. With or without gifts, it was always memorable.

I remember when teMalou celebrated her birthday and I just lost my job. Because I am trying to save the money I had, I bought a cupcake with icing on it and told her it's her birthday cake. I know it's not much but I know that she really appreciated it.

Of course, I know that in time, we will have dinner, watch movie and tell stories over a cup of coffee. God has blessed me with good friends who have stuck with me and my occasional rants. They were with me when I thought I was in my lowest and listened patiently to what I say. It was not an accident that we belonged to the big batch during training, we were meant to share coffee, we were meant to travel together, we were meant to watch movies together. We were meant to be friends.

Without a Reason

2011-08-10T15:43:00.001+08:00

I think I am a very transparent person. I frown when I'm sad or angry. I smile or laugh when I am happy or just feeling good.

Last weekend, as I have shared in my previous post, I went to Bintan Indonesia together with the young professionals of the church. Initial goal is actually to just take some rest from the stressful working environment of Singapore and to enjoy fellowship and second was to share blessings with the kids from the orphanage. Less fortunate, yes. But never least loved by the Father.

During the whole weekend, there will be just time when I will just smile big and look at my LG mates. Or sometimes, I will just laugh suddenly. They would look at me and ask why I was smiling or laughing. Honestly, I do not know. I haven't the slightest why. I just feel like smiling or laughing. It's like, my heart is so full of joy and I think I will burst if I didn't smile it our or laugh it out.

In answer to their question, I will ask them "Does smiling or laughing needs a reason?". Unlike other people who have difficulty smiling, I am grateful to God that He made me this way. I think that I gained most of my friends because I smiled at them when we first met. My japanese friends loved my smile, and I do too. I think it's the reason behind staying looking young (ahem, ahem).

- . - . - . - . - . - NEWS BREAK - . - . - . - . - . -

Three years ago, around this time, if you would go back to my posts on that year, you will find that there's this someone who was constantly on my mind, who caused me great sadness. Please bear in mind that during that time, I was just a Sunday Christian. I was only focused on what I was feeling and what I wanted.

I called Midori-san a while ago and during our conversation, she mentioned that after a long time, she met up with Ou-san. I was like, "Who?". I think she was also surprised because she immediately mentioned his first name and the company name where we used to work. When i finally remembered who she was talking about, I felt ashamed, seriously ashamed. I mean, that guy was so nice to me when I was there, to the point of bringing me with him to visit Konpira in Kagawa-ken (though I was really suprised that it was a temple we were going to visit). He was a good friend during my stay there, and yes I admit, could have almost become more than friends. I could have thrown my whole belief system during that time.

It is amazing how God heals the broken hearted when one knows that the solution to any hurt and problem is to run and cry to God and put in His feet everything that concerns us. It is amazing that the things which hurt me in the past no longer affect. I forgot about him completely!!! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Bintan Experience

2011-08-10T00:52:00.001+08:00

I joined an outreach program of the church for young professionals to three orphanages in Bintan. Well, we didn't exactly visit the orphanages. The kids were brought to the resort we were staying. The kids are all Muslims and is in fasting, so I had to witness on how they break their fast on the end of the day.

My LG and I are in a committee for packing bags full of goodies for them. I was assigned for the bags of the 4 to 12 year old girls. I had my own system and I think it worked fine. A goodie bag contains a blanket, bandana, slippers, toothbrush, hair brush, notebook, color pencil, colors, stationery, water bottle and some snacks to go along.

When the skit of David and Goliath was presented, I will never forget the smiles and the laughs of these kids. It was a pure joy, it was heart warming. I looked around the room and I said to myself, "this very room can be a proof that Muslims and Christians can coexist in a community." We respect their belief, they respect ours. What brought us together is love, and we cannot deny that God was in the midst of that gathering.

As the people close to me know, I am very concerned about my nephews and nieces. About their salvation and education. But looking at those kids I thought, my nieces and nephews have me to pray for them. Daily. But who does those orphans have to pray for them?

The goal of the outreach is to illuminate the love of God through us, to help those kids dream again, and have the confidence of becoming someone great in their country. As what I already shared in my LG right before we came back to Singapore, of course, we will never forget the experience, but we may forget to continually pray for those kids. So now, while we still have the fire burning within us, we must pray that we hope to have planted a good seed in them and that God will send more people to water them, and that God will make them grow, as He is the only one who can do that.

As always, we went there to share blessings, but we came out more blessed and happy. I can't describe how blessed I came out of the event, but the evident thing is that I approved a lot of friend requests in Facebook today than I did in the whole of last year. I met new people, I gained friends, my network has broaden.

Thank you Lord, for bringing new people into my life.

big fat bonus

2011-07-22T22:56:00.004+08:00

2 Corinthians 9:7 NIV

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Last Monday, our boss has handed out the much-awaited letter which states our variable bonus. But since I was on sick leave that day, I didn't get to receive my letter until the next day. Earlier this month, I told my friend that I wish my tithes this month is X000. She just smiled. I know, it was asking too much. I don't think the company will give the kind of amount I was wishing for.

But lo and behold! God really shows He rules! When I looked at what I am going to receive this payday, my wish was granted. My tithes is going to be the exact amount that I wished for. Never doubt what God is capable of. He created all of us, what is there that He cannot do?

Looking at the excel sheet I already prepared last week, I saw the cell which states my tithes. Whoa! Yeah, that is a big amount. I could buy a 32" LED TV, pay off my remaining installment for the laptop and buy a 1TB external hard disk. And then I saw next to it, the building fund pledge that I am going to give, which is half my tithes. It's appalling. I can just save that!

But it is not what is in my heart. I want to give what is for God. It is written in Malachi 3:8-10 ("Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How are we robbing you?' "In tithes and offerings.9 You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.") Never would I want to rob what is God's. Everything is His in the first place. He is the one who gives me the amount I have now, why would I not give what is due Him? People I know tell me I am smart, and not giving what I have already decided beforehand just because I realized of what I could do with the money is, for me, plain stupidity.

Besides, in the same verse, God told us to dare Him in the area of tithing. "Test me in this" He said, and he will throw open the floodgates of heaven to pour out so much blessing. Who wouldn't want that?

Aside from the promise of prosperity, I just really want to obey God. And also, it's because I already know my reward. And that is to be with Him when my time comes to join Him.

Praise Him only!

What I learned from . . . .

2011-07-16T22:08:00.001+08:00

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Dumbledore, Snape and the rest of the HP characters

Loyalty, unwavering trust, undying love, insurmountable courage and bravery. Let's get past the fact that the book series' main setting is a magical world using witchcraft and focus on the characteristics portrayed in the book.

Harry survived with the help of his best friends, he can never do it alone, and he knew that. In the last book, he relied heavily on the cleverness of Hermione. Harry and Ron may have fall outs in the series, specifically in the Goblet of Fire, but it was easy for them to forgive each other when either one of them admitted their fault. All Harry wanted really, is a family to be with, that's why He loved the Weasleys so much, aside from the fact that Ron is his best friend.

Ron showed that he is not only the hero's sidekick. Throughout the series, there were times that Ron proved himself and earned him the respect he deserved. Ron is a faithful friend, despite being a little insecure at times. Ron taught me that it's not so bad being the second lead or sidekick. Heroes need them.

Hermione proved that education is important. Having knowledge on things around you will help you survive and compete. It doesn't hurt to read about current events and not just the gossip section.

We all know that Neville could have been "The Chosen One", had Voldy opted to kill him rather than Harry. But even him, proved himself, lacking confidence at first but when faced with standing for what he believed in, he can just come out shining. (Matthew Lewis was really great in that scene with the snake, I am so glad they gave the Neville the credit he deserved.)

"It is the unknown we fear, when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more." (HP6) "Don't pity the dead, pity the living, especially those who live without love." (HP7) - my favorite lines from Albus Dumbldore, which is really, self-explanatory and true.

Oh Snape. The great love he had for Lily. Just thinking about it makes me cry. Though unrequited, he never stopped. It was okay for him as long as she's alive, but continuing even after she was gone, is simply heartbreaking. So brave, so brave, risking his life to protect the son of the love of his life. (Alan Rickman is amazing!)

The Weasleys showed that you can live a decent life even if you are not financially rich. They are rich with love for each other and for other people, wizards and muggles alike. They showed that families should stick together, and forgive each other, to accept with open arms when they come back.

Even for Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, they realized that the life of their only son Draco is more important than the ambition of Voldy. Draco showed compassion when he didn't tell Bellatrix that Harry was the one Greyback brought the manor. Narcissa also lied to Voldy about Harry being dead. Redemption. Knowing they did wrong and tried to make it right. Though I know that Narcissa just wanted to go up the castle and find Malfoy that's why she lied, but still.

Watching the last movie, I know that just like the tag line, it all ends. When the last book was released in 2007, it didn't feel that it ended, because we still have movies to look forward to. But now that it has officially ended, it feels like I broke up with a longtime boyfriend and his friends.

It all indeed ends.

(dis)Obedience

2011-06-08T15:03:00.001+08:00

Luke 6:46
"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?"

Ouch. Yeah, a lot of people, including myself, will definitely cry in pain in just reading this verse.

I am in no place to judge other people, of their actions and decisions in life. It's God's job, not mine. But isn't it just true and real, the verse I mean. Some of us, will go to church on sundays, sing song of praise and worship, but then from mondays to saturdays, we forget about God and his teachiings. Isn't it hypocrisy, that the voice and lips that you use to sing praise are the same voice and lips that you use to curse others, to speak malice or to gossip. Better are those who say they don't believe in God, because we cannot expect them to do any obedience to the Word.

We qoute the pastor or the priest of their sermon, agree with what they say, but are we living rightfully? Morally? In a court, I don't think anybody will believe you when you say one thing then practice the other. It's what they say, "walk the talk".

According to the gospel, we should not live in immorality, but do we heed? Thinking, "oh I've done so many good things and not really sinned heavily, I even gave to charity to help poor people, so I guess it's okay to do this one thing". It is written in the Bible that we cannot be lukewarm. It's either we're hot or cold. Lukewarm should be thrown away.

Then, maybe you will say "I didn't know it's wrong, so I didn't know I was sinning". Lame, lame excuse. What is the Bible for? If we doubt saying or doing something, the best thing to do is to consult the Word of God, then talk to God and ask Him for wisdom.

Being from the Philippines which have a culture of poverty mentality and being used to being abused or colonized, we tend to take instructions just from the authorities (in the Spanish era, it's the priests). The thing is, we can consult to the Highest Authority there is, we have access to God's grace and mercy if only we would ask.

Ignorance is not an excuse.

Love and Trust

2011-05-27T10:38:00.001+08:00

Proverbs 3:3-6

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.t

Breathtaking

2011-05-20T14:41:00.000+08:00

Psalm 8:3-4
When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?

I was 9 when I first rode an airplane and I barely remember it, so when I went to Macau for my very fist job, I requested for a window seat. And I just can't forget how amazed I was with God's work. I love the clouds, I love looking at it. Just by looking at it gives me a feeling like it's so fluffy and that I can actually roll on it.

When I went to Macau last week, I managed to see iightning in the clouds. I am very scared of lightning but at that moment, they don't look scary at all. I am just amazed on how God had architectured everything. Everything have a place and reason for being there. God have a purpose for everything, though sometimes we think what a cockroach for, in a way that we have not yet discovered.

Just looking at the greens around, the birds flying, the water flowing, I mean, aren't those simply amazing? Haw can the birds fly past the cloudes and the fishes siwm to the depth of the ocean? Questions that human brain cannot answer and only to God we can ask. Well I think when we get to heavern, we can watch a blu-ray 3D of how God created the universe ^_^ , and for a movie-lover like me. That would be just great great great.

God's creation are meant to enjoy and not questioned, jsut be amazed at the Creator Himself, becuase no matter how long we study and do research on something, we will never understand how exactly a creation being works.

Chat Box

2011-05-18T11:29:00.000+08:00

2 Timothy 2:16
Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

In the old times, when there were still kingdoms and tribes, the way to tell the news to the people is by physically going to a village square and in a loud voice, read from a scroll to tell the people anything from the princess getting married, the queen giving birth, to waging a war with other kingdoms.

Then more than 100 years ago, the newspaper was invented, and then after some more decades the radio came in, then the television. News delivery has never been faster since. That's until the invention of the internet, and in present time, we got Facebook and Twitter, and now we get the news as it happens. Really, as it happens.

It's actually a blessing to have these technologies. Information couldn't come faster. When I was a kid, we send letters to my dad, or sometimes a voice tape so he could listen to our voice. Now, everything is so fast. We can send emails, or he can call us using the ship's sattelite phone. Gone were the days of handwritten letters and voice tapes.

At present time, with Facebook and Twitter at our fingertips - literally on smartphones - , exchanging information is as normal as breathing. Tell the world where you are and what are you doing seems to be norm. Sharing your thoughts to the whole wide world, like, what you think of Princess Katherine's wedding dress or does the Academy Award winner deserves the award or even putting your ten cents on the RH Bill brouhaha (Philippine issue). In last year's Philippine election, even politicians have utilized these technologies to entice voters to vote for them.

Social Networking Sites, when used for good purposes can bring out good things, but when used to malign people, to gossip about, to put malice on, to spread rumors or to publicly humiliate someone, that's a big no no.

If using Facebook makes us think bad about someone, then by all means, hide that person from your news feed. I using Twitter makes you comment on things that is misleading and maligning someone, then stop using Twitter. If the people you are "following" are exchanging green jokes, you can definitely unfollow them. If they happen to be your friends, you can just ignore and not join the exchange. Let us not be tempted into engaging such talks. Honestly, what good does talking green brings us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

We have to be strong in avoiding these things, like gossipping. Before opening your mouth (or typing), let's think first if what we say is true and if it doesn't hurt or offend anybody. Yes, we show the world our true self, but isn't it shameful that we are showing the decaying part in us? And when we become so accustomed on gossipping and telling green jokes, it will become a habit and so akin to us. It will destroy our character and our identity. Controlling against engaging in godless talks and thoughts is not easy, but at least we can be sure of one thing, that amidst of it all, we know that we have our Father's hand to hold on to and to remind us that gossiping will not please God.

Gossip is different from news. To know the difference, we have to sort out the information by asking: (1) Has it been proven true? (2) Will it hurt or offend anybody?

Practice Makes Perfect

2011-05-18T10:21:00.001+08:00

James 1:22
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

It is said that to be able to make something a habit, do it for 22 consecutive days. And to be able to do something perfectly and flawless, one must practice.

One thing is for sure, that those Olympic Gold Medalists didn't win those medals merely by knwoing how to play and hsowing up in the competition. It might have took them years - if not decades - of preparation just to be there to compete and win. Even for a developer like me, if I didn't continually use a certain PL for some time, I might need some refresher to be able to code in it again.

I believe that everything can be learnt, that's the very reason why we have our own career and trade.

It is just the same in following God and living according to Jesus' example which will please Our Father God. Of course, it is always not easy. Reading the Bible must be our habit in order to take instructions from God. But it doesn't end there. It takes a lot of practice to live according to what we read and learned. And when we get the hang of it, it just comes out of us naturally that it already has become our character. A shining symbol of our faith and love for God who loved us first.

When we do what the Word says, it's like we're becoming gold plunged into a blazing fire, to purify us, only to please God and for His glory. But we can be assured that in all those scorching fire, God will be with us, no matter what.

Like a Gecko

2011-05-11T14:11:00.001+08:00

Hebrews 10:23

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

When I was still an only child (my brother Riel was born when I was 7 years old), my parents always bring me to my dad's hometown, which, in that time, takes 12 hours ride on a passenger ship. I remember that every late afternoon, a creature trapped inside a bamboo in my grandfather's kitchen woudl always make a sound, like it was calling something or someone. Growing up, I learned that the creature is called "tuko" or gecko. They say that wherever it lives is prone to lightning. For me that time, it was like an alarm clock.

Some years ago, I heard again the same call from a gecko, and it was not in a bamboo outside out house, but it on the back of our tv in my parents' room!!! We were told to get away from it because when it latches itself on anything, it is very difficult to remove it unless it wants to. My brother-in-law killed it because there was no way for us to take it outside, for the fear of it jumping to us. When it was finally dead, we all looked on and see as my brother-in-law tried very hard to put the gecko in a disposable bag. The gecko was dead but it's hold on the floor was still strong. I forgot how he was able to remove the gecko from floor and buried it somewhere in the woods.

Imagine how amazing it is if we hold on with the same strength to our only hope, which is Christ Jesus. Imagine if we keep on holding on to the promises of God and not be wary or anxious or impatient or tired. That whenever we feel of losing hope on what we are praying for, or felt like we were forgotten, or feels liek getting tired of waiting, it is the best time to hold tighter and be stubborn, like telling God "No Lord, I will not let go of your promises. I will not let go of You in my life."

God is faithful, the Bible is where some of the accounts of His faithfullness is listed. And it doesn't stop there. His failthfulness is present in our lives, we just have to claim His promises and also be faithful to Him. Let us not lose our focus on the worldly things that surrounds us. God is more than that, Gdo can give us more than what we hoped for or dreamed of. Sometimes, when he answeres prayers, we will just be dumbstruck knowing that He has blessed us more than we prayed for. Because God knows the deepest desire of our hearts, the things that we may be shy to share to other people. He cares for what we think and cares for what makes us happy. That is how God loves us. He is concerned of everything that have to do with every single one of us. So how can he not be faithful in small things that we ask of Him.

Let us be like a gecko in holding firmly and strongly to God and His word. God is good. All the time.

Amnesia

2011-05-10T14:43:00.001+08:00

Isaiah 43:18

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past."

I used to be heavy worrier. Whether it is a thing to come or already has passed. I also used to be so bitter about my high school days and my classmates. Or think sadly about the mistakes that I really regret doing.

Being a reject or an outcast is something that a person will bring to his or her heart for a long time. The result can vary from being extremely introvert to being insanely insecure to being an attention-seeker person. I think it depends wholly on your own belief and the support of your family. In my experience of being an outcast, insecurity have already had its claws in me that I tend to do everything I can to please people. It still with me to the present day, but it has toned down to pleasing God, my family and closest friends. Of course, it's all on different level, but the point is I get to make my pit of insecurity to just a healthy little tiny hole. How? Because I know that God loves me, and that there's nothing I can do or not do to make Him love me more. He created me this way,and I am grateful for it. It's now upto me to live my life according to what pleases Him and is no doubt beneficial to myself. As I have forgiven the people who made me felt unwanted (not that they are aware of), I also have forgiven myself for hating myself.

In December of 2007, as per tradition in Japan, the company where I used to work held a bounenkai (year end party). During the party, they asked me what I wanted to drink, and I said, ice lemon tea (the safest). Then they asked me if I do not like beer (because Japanese people love beer, I think), I said no and told them that I don't drink alcoholic drinks. At least, not anymore. When they asked why, I told them because I am a Christian. In January of 2008, they held a farewell party for me as I was leaving the following week. During the start of the party, the husband of my mama - who is incidentally the owner of the biggest share in the company - made a toast. They already prepared an iced tea for me, but my mama told me if I can take just 1 glass of beer. Not wanting to disappoint her, I said it's okay. Well, since I am used to drinking on my college days, the 1 glass became 2 then 3 until I get tipsy, and yes, drunk. It was just one moment where I put down my guard and I until this day I really regret that. Regret in a way that I will never put myself in the same situation again, not in the way that I beat myself with it. I might have learned the hard way, but at least I learned, and I will not make the same mistake again.

Just like what was stated in Isaiah, to forget the former things and not to dwell on the past. having a new life in Christ give us that freedom and blessing. We get to untie the bind that we have with sin. We cannot be feel convicted of a sin we did in the past and we have surrendered and confessed to our Lord Jesus. It is His to judge, as long as we knwo in our hear that we have repented and have let go of the hurt the sin might have brought.

I know it is not easy to forget, but all is possible in Christ who gives us strength and shower us with love.

I am not by chance

2011-05-10T10:34:00.003+08:00

Psalm 150:6

Let everything that has breath praise the lord. Praise the lord.

I was on standby yesterday as a support for the newspaper covering the big event of this country. At around 5 in the morning, I was really sleepy. Thanks to teMaan, I searched for Friends videos in Youtube. Boy, did I laugh.

In one of the episodes though, Phoebe and Ross were in an argument about creation. Ross, as a paleontologist, believes in evolution. Phoebe doesn't.

Ross: You don't believe in evolution?
Phoebe: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Too easy? Too.... The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is... is too easy?
Phoebe: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Ross: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, don't get me started on gravity.
Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

Well, like I always said, to each his own. On the latter part of this episode, however:

PHOEBE: Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.
ROSS: Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap
came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
ROSS: There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
ROSS: What?
PHOEBE: You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, Ididn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?

That's the problem with believing in evolution. You have to prove endlessly that it happened, like it's the only reason why we are here right now. The thing is, I don't believe in evolution, because I believe in the Creator. And I don't have to prove anything, I just believe in all-powerful, all-knowing God. I wouldn't accept the explanation that how we look now are all by chance. I mean, two hands, two feet, two eyes, two ears, a nose and mouth; all that in perfect position by chance? So, let's say that if we put parts of a watch in a box and shake it all together for like 100 years, is there a possibility that when we open that box, the parts will be in one piece (as a watch) and functional? Let alone giving the correct time.

It's not chance that we area ll here. It's not a chance that you came to my blog and is reading this entry. Everything have a Maker. And just like those inventors who sue people for "stealing their ideas", imagine claiming the credit for finding the blueprint of God's work.

Thank God He created us. Thank God that I am not here by chance, that I have a purpose, that I am valued. (Psalm 150:6) Let everything that has breath praise the lord.

The Lord is Great

2011-05-07T23:35:00.001+08:00

Psakm 40:16-17

16 But may all who seek you

rejoice and be glad in you;

may those who long for your saving help always say,

"The Lord is great!"

17 But as for me, I am poor and needy;

may the Lord think of me.

You are my help and my deliverer;

you are my God, do not delay.

I am on a standby support for the media coverage of an event here in Singapore. And as I am really so close to playing CityVille, I convinced myself that it is better to write my thoughts on my Bible reading for the day.

I believe that seeking the Lord is a serious business but not as serious as not enjoying Him and His love. I heard that like in sports competition, of course, we play to win, but the most important is that we enjoy playing. We have to bear in mind that there is nothing we can do or cannot do to make God loves us more. He has loved us first. He chose us and not the other way around. let us all be glad that He made a way to save us.

For "baby" Christians, it seems that everything is perfect, everything is going our way, everything is given to us. Now, give that believer some time and if he/she has become stagnant in seeking God and His presence, he/she may lose focus and tend to wonder if God has forgotten him/her. But shouldn't it be that the believer has fogottern God's goodness. As we grow and mature in our faith, we can only rely on God and His love. That He will never fail or forsake us. As long as we decalre the He is our God and Saviour, we can be assured that God is always thinking of us. God will never delay His plans, it is always on His perfect timing. We may not realize it at first, but when the time comes, we will just be amazed on how everything worked out, amazed at how God works, thankful that God is in control.

We were told to cry out to the Lord our grievances, because He listens even though He already knows before we even think. it is impossible to think that He doesn't care. That's too absurd. Things may not look bright as of the moment, but as we wait and serve on the Lord, it just get better.

How to Love

2011-05-06T14:24:00.000+08:00

Romans 12:9-10

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways . . . " Well, I honestly don't know what comes next, so I googled and found out how the the "first person" love the "second person", but that is the romantic love, and we all know that love is universal. The Bible tells us of how to love each and every one.

In verse 9, it says that love must be sincere. Loving goes beyond saying those three words. To be sincere in loving means caring for a person despite the flaws, knowing that we have our own flaws. It means to love without expecting anything in return. It means to look out on the other person's interest. In the light of Mother's Day coming this Sunday, I can say that I consider a mother's love to be sincere, pure and without limits. It's like a glimpse of God's love for us.

In the same verse, it says to hate what is evil and to cling to what is good. Just like what my colleague told me, how would he know that what he's doing is wrong? I guess, those are the ones the fall under the gray areas category. For example, gambling, it is not blatantly stated in the Bible that gambling is bad and should be avoided. But the Bible tells us that greed is a no no and we should trust God fully. The thing with gambling is we lost our focus on God simply by trusting chance and not Him. And those in the casinos who won on the "first round" will tend to bet and bet thinking that they will get more money. Now, that's greed. See, there's no excuse in saying "I didn't know it was wrong", because God has given us the Bible to living according to. He has given us guidelines.

Being devoted to a person have a quite deeper meaning, and for me, it's a little bit difficult to fathom and understand. in my own words, being devoted to someone means we are only thinking of that person all throughout the day, thinking of what to do for that person that will make them happy, to invest time just as so to know the person better and to grow more in love -though, not necessarily romantic - and to defend and stand firm when it comes to that person. More of like, when we are doing our daily quiet time with God. To be able to pick a time to just be with the Lord and to be failthful to do it every day, it requries total devotion.

So, how do we show devotion to other people? The most important part is to include them in our prayers. The other ways depends on our relationship with them. Say, for a relative or a friend, we should be sensitive on their feelings or moods for the day, when we feel like the person is not feeling well or is sad, we could make an effort to make the friend better or to extend a helping hand, or sometimes, just being there with them without saying anything. It for an officemate, we can give tips or help in work load when needed, to not gossip about the person and to say positive things to the person to boost confidence and to build trust.

To honor one another means to respect. Respect decisions, belief, preferences and other stuff that is different from us. We miust remember that God made us unique from one another, so we do have our own liking and strong points. We cannot push our own belief down other people's throat, even if we think it's for that person's well-being. One thing that I would like to emphasize is the respect for the person's time. You see, I , myself am quite punctual. My dad did a very good job on me on punctuality. Now, I cannot bear being late. So if we respect someone's time, we will not waste it, we will nto let them on waiting. Hey, if the U.S. President Obama, or Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of England asked for a meeting, won't we come on time? Even if it's only for a job interview, we always come on time.

The next verses from the above verses carefully instructs us on what to do in serving the Lord and in relating with other people. It is how we could show love.

Romans 12:11-21

11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

13 Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.t Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"t says the Lord.

20 On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Tagalog Movies

2011-04-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

I seldomly watch Tagalog Movies, but when I do, I watch indie movies. I appreciate the story rather than the actors.

Last weekend, Ate Mira said that we will have lunch in Pia's place because Ramir wanted to go over to watch tagalog movies. Given that Pia have a 42 inches LED TV, it is indeed a very good place to watch movies.

First movie was One More Chance, starring Alonzo and Cruz. A story about a controlling boyfriend and a girlfriend who wanted space ended breaking up. The guy was not able to move on at first and wanted the girl back. When the guy finally moved on, the girl wanted him back, blah blah blah. So of course, they ended up together.

Second movie was Miss You Like Crazy (I thought it was Missing You, then I googled). The guy met a girl but they cant be together because the guy already have a girlfriend whom he cannot leave. The girl moved to Malaysia to work and the guy went there to find her but the girl already have a boyfriend. Of course, they still ended up together.

I apologize if I may hurt the fans of the movies but please indulge me. The movies were revolting! No moral values at all! And they intended these movies to be watched by teens? Come on! Are you telling the kids that it's okay to do premarital sex? That it's okay to be unfaithful? No wonder the number of unwanted pregnancies, especially for the young ones, is rising.

The Church has been telling us how to live that will please God, according to the Bible. Is the Philippines, moving backward?

Here is a very good read on this matter, Pastor Steve Murrell's blog post.

But seriously, the Philippine Movie makers should consider the morality issues when making romatic movies and the like. Just because they are doing it in Hollywood doesn't mean it's good to imitate.

Lousy, lousy movies.

Maundy Thursday

2011-04-21T14:52:00.000+08:00

It's Maundy Thursday and I am working. Not a new thing though, but somehow I find it sad that I am working on the Holy Week. A time in which I was raised to observe. Of course, remembering Christ and what He has done for me should always be on my mind everyday, but still, it's different on a Holy Week, especially in my hometown.

This is my thrid year of not celebrating Holy Week in the Philippines. I hope I will be able to spend it next year in my hometown. Why celebrate, you said? Why celebrate when this is the season where we are all should be sad becuase Jesus Christ was crucified? Of course, we should be sad. Be sad about the truth that it was our sins which crucified Christ in the cross. Two, but celebrate because if not for Christ who was crucified, died and resurrected, we would not have been able to claim our salvation today.

Holy Week is indeed a celebration of God's love for us.

On my way to work from the gym, I picked up the free newspaper being given away in teh MRT station, which incidentally, I also support. Well, I took it because I want to see which pages were not successfully published to the web site, as I received the notification as early as 3:30 am.

As I help myself take a copy, I heard the lady giving the copies out say "Happy Holiday". I was not able to stop myself from grinning. After all, the event that we will be remembering this weekend is not just a holiday. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) He died even for the non-believers so they may believe and be saved.

I am back . . .

2011-04-03T21:04:00.002+08:00

. . . to the gym!!! I enrolled in Fitness First last Wednesday and starting tomorrow, I would be doing the same routine I did back in 2007. Early morning trip to the gym before going to work.

I miss this. I seriously miss this. Though this decision to go back to the gym will really costs me a lot of money. But as they say, no pain no gain.

So, like before, I would be turning in earlier than usual. Good night.

Being an Adult

2011-03-30T09:09:00.001+08:00

I know it is funny to say that I've finally become an adult, when technically I've been an adult for a couple of years already. It is just that, for quite some time now, I've been laying out my plans to God and telling Him that I hope those are also His plans for me.

Plans? I want to quit my IT career in 5 years time, that's why it doesn't matter to me if I don't get poromotions, as long as I get pay raise (just being honest). During this five years transition, I would be taking English classes and exams so I would be able to teach English. I will be going back to my first dream job, a teacher. Why English, you ask. Well, it's a very good tool in my yet another desire to do. On top of that, I also have to continue studying Japanese. Do you understand where I am heading with this plan now?

After the quake and tsunami and the nuclear meltdown scare, I believe this is the best time to sow the seed of Good News to the people of Japan.

I knwo that His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, let alone my plans. But I do pray that He will let me know what His plans for me are. I am too excited.

Roller Coaster

2011-02-28T21:05:00.003+08:00

My second cousin, Candy, was here for a short vacation which only lasted 4 days. So naturally, I put on my tourist guide mode on. She said that she really must visit Universal Studios Singapore and Sentosa.

Truth be told, it was my first time to visit a theme park. I haven't been to Philippine's Enchanted Kingdom yet. So naturally, it was my first time to ride a roller coaster. Just to burst your bubble, I didn't brave the Battlestar Galactica. I am not suicidal. But nevertheless, I think I deserve a pat in the back for being able to ride the Shrek's Enchanted Airways and The Mummy's Revenge. Both of course are high speed roller coasters. I thought the feeling does not differ from the feeling I had when I rode the Philippine style "Caterpillar" ride and the Ferris Wheel.

I was really scared during our ride in the Enchanted Airways. I feel so insecure with the steel bar across my lap. So you would think that after that ride, I will not try another same ride. But I did, this time in the darkness of The Mummy's Revenge. Good thing with this ride is that I could not see anything during the ride, except for the occasional stop.

On the first 5 seconds of plummeting backwards, I was already praying. "God, let this be over please".

Funny really. I already know before I get into that situation what will happen and what I have to expect, and yet I still went on the ride. Despite that I have already experienced almost the same thing on the Enchanted Airways.

Funny that it matches the scene in a real life. We sometimes never learn from our mistakes. We still go head on with our own decisions and then cry to the Lord for help when we feel so helpless and scared.

The thing about God's love is that it is unconditional. So anytime we hold unto Him and cry out to Him, we are sure to know that He is there to catch us. But really, why do we have to want to be in a situation we can avoid? Just because it is so exciting and that everybody is unto it?

They always say that life is like a roller coaster, that there are downs and ups. For me, being up or down doesn't mean anything, as long as I hold unto God. Because when I just completely put my trust in God, I know that in the end, I am victorious!!!

Real Prosperity

2011-02-19T19:08:00.001+08:00

TOTO is what they call their lottery here as it is called LOTTO in the Philippines. The other day, the grand prize went upto 11 million Singaporean Dollars and everybody were in a frenzy to place their bets. A group of people in our department did a group bet just to increase their chances of winning.

I was also told to place my bet but I just said that it is against my principle, which is of course based on the teachings in the Bible.

My colleague went on telling me that it is not bad and the proceeds wil go to charity. He added that he is also a Christian, like me. My answer was not flawless and I wish I had answered differently.

Well, indeed that we both believe in Christ but I try with God's help to live according to the teachings of Jesus. There may not be an exact verse about lottery but Jesus warned us against covetousness and faithfulness.

I am putting my trust in God and not in chances. I am secured of prosperity if I just trust God whilst lottery will just lure people into false hope of getting rich is the answer to all their needs and problems.

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Back to Blogging

2011-02-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

I have decided to go back to blogging to hone my English skills, as I am quite serious in taking IELTS and if it is in God's plan, to take TESOL.

I know I have to work on my grammar especially when speaking as there is a tendency for mhy brain to think faster than my mouth can speak. Thus the reason why I talk a lot.

Anyway, I will take a topic on a certain day and try to write my opinion on the subject. I just need to have discipline in doing this. I am preparing for the time that I will quit my career in IT. And besides I do really need to brush up my English.

So there, I do hope I could start by this weekend.

Complete in Christ

2011-01-17T13:13:00.001+08:00

KIt is that time of the year, when another candle is added on my birthday cake. I am 31 today and unlike on my previous birthdays, today is a pure bliss.

I woke up at exactly 5:40 am, thanks to my alarm. The reason being, I will be serving as an usher today. What could be better than serving God on your birthday? As I promised my team leader last week, I was the first one to arrive and to win the prize (snickers).

The service was as great as always. With a gentle reminder on joining a gym.

By the wnd if the second service, I got busy cleaning up and didn't notice Ate Mira, Liezel and Sherry. When Pia and I was waiting for them in our usual spot, I decided to call them, only to hear from Ate Mira that she left already to go to Bedok. Whereas I suspected that Shiela was not able to make it to the service given the fact that she was really tired biking the day before.

Pia suggested to have pizza for lunch. I was okay with anuthing actually and it's been some tome since I had one. When we arrived though, I was really surprised to see Ate Mira, Shiela and Sherry already sitting comfortably. And had ordered as a matter of fact. After some time, Cielo arrived. Seeing that she was still sick but managed to get up to attend my birthday lunch just tpuched my heart.

Three family size pizzas, two carbonaras, two beef lasagna, 20 pcs chicken wings, platter of appetizer and a salad after, I was in another surprise. A book, and not just any book!! A women's devotional Bible. Talk about something that matters and worth reading.

And then Cielo started a game. To describe me in one word. Ate Mira said it should start with letter R. Then afterwards they added more using the rest of the letters in my name.

It would be too boastful to post the adjectives and besides I am still figuring out how they came about with those words.

Moments after, the Happy Birthday song was played and a crew came out with a small cake with candle on top and ice cream on the side.

Right at that monent, I knew, that I am in the right place where God wants me to be. Gone are the days when I was always crying out to God to bring me to Japan already. Right now, I will faithfully wait and to give my focus on God alone and on serving Him.

God is good. He placed these people in my life who He knows will affect me greatly. He knows me so well that He knows the right people to surround me with.

Of course I am grateful for my closest friends for being with me thru internet. They kept me sane when I was still adjusting to life here in Singapore. And because of that, I will be a hypocrite if I say that I love them but never share the precious truth of salvation to them. I love them so much that I want to have coffee with them in Heaven. I have discovered wonderful things in having a personal relationship with God. In being BFF wth Jesus. I want them to have the same. It's the relationship that everybody is dreaming to have. A relationship better than anbody could ever imagine. I felt like I found Narnia and talked to Aslan, only better.

When I was waiting for Rose last night, it just sunk in that yesterday was My Day. And when I try to search inside me, there's no more emptiness and loneliness. God has filled it all up. And this same feeling that I want lovable friends to have one day. In God's time, I know they will.

These ladies and a gent who are very kind to me have been influencing me on how to seek God. And as this post is in honor of them I would like to add that just because we talk about God all the time doesn't mean we despise anything of the world. People may think it's corny, but I don't care.

This year will be another great year, I just know, because God have great plans for me. I don't want to whine abput the things I don't have but be thankful with those that I do have. Besides, seek first the Kingdom of God and everything wil be added to you. And that is so true. ^_^

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it's not about me

2010-12-19T10:04:00.001+08:00

I do too have down times and feels that i am alone. Sometimes i think God does not hear my prayers. Like most people, I long for that feeling of belongingness and happiness that i always see in tv and movies. Sometimes it feels like God has forgotten about me, that I will be stuck here.

That's why I am so thankful to God that he let me know Him, that He let me be saved and made me feel worthy enough to serve Him. I feel so blessed that despite all of the human emotions, mistakes, failures and troubles that i am experiencing, i am assured of better things that are yet to come, as what God has promised to His children as long I remain in Him, trust Him, serve Him and continually seek Him.

It is no doubt that the answers to all the questions we may have lies in Him alone. He is The Answer.

Whenever Christmas season comes, we cannot deny the feeling of hope and love and generosity that spreads in the air. It is a clear proof of what faith in God can bring us. Aside from salvation, we get to have a relationship with God in a more personal level.

When I received the prophecy weeks ago, i just had the proof that God does know me, that He is thinking about me and that He loves me. And that He have plans for me, and i dont need to beg, i just have to ask just like i ask my earthly father. And i am assured that whatever I ask The Heavenly Father shall be mine as i am a His daughter and He is the owner of all things. And just like He said, He has given us His only Son Jesus, what can He not give us.

My life is not about me. It is about Him.

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compassion

2010-12-01T13:34:00.002+08:00

Compassion (from Latin: "co-suffering") is a virtue —one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnectedness and humanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.

I seriously need compassion.

To understand people.

To understand why they don't see what I see.

To understand why they don't understand.

To not to condemn them.

To have a heart breaking for them.

It is just that they can spend thousands and thousands on world's little things but do not even consider giving a hundred for God's work.

I need compassion.

protecting my marriage

2010-10-19T11:09:00.000+08:00

My aunt went back to the Philippines with her family last week, to attend her friend's wedding. Yesterday when I called my mum she said that she already saw my aunt's japanese friend's picture. I met this japanese guy last year and we sometimes send emails. My mum said that he doesn't look bad. I know where she's going with that, so I immediately said 'No! I only want a Christian!', then my mum said that a non-Christian can be persuaded to attend Church, and I said 'No!'.

Honestly, getting married is not really my concern as of the moment. It is not my problem, it is upto God. I only have 5 non-negotiable requirements and God knows them. I want God to be my matchmaker because I know He will give me the best who I deserve.

I want my marriage to last as long as I and my husband-to-be both live. I want to protect my marriage as early as now. By protecting, I mean being financially, mentally and emotionally stable. I pray for a husband who can lead me, and have strong faith in God. And let's face it, who would want a cheating husband?

I will not settle for anyone less than given by God. I will not settle for anyone just because I am getting older. It might take a while, but I will wait. I may be desperate at times and cry to God for so many times, but I will still wait. I pray for a husband who is also praying for me. I want God to take control of my life and to write my love story. I want a love story worth telling to my grandkids 40-50 years from now.

Guys who can easily lift weights and beers are weak people; I'd rather choose guys who never fail to pick up their Bible.

if . . .

2010-08-08T19:40:00.001+08:00

. . . God doesn't give me what I've been praying for, would I still love Him?

I'm watching Facing the Giants and the couple there learned they may not have children, so the husband asked his wife that if God doesn't give them children, would they still love Him?

So what if God doesn't give me what I've been praying for? Would I still love Him?

I think if God doesn't give me the one thing I am constantly praying for, then I guess it's because He prepared greater things for me and not because He can't. I may not realize it but sooner or later I will. So I would like to stand firm in my faith and declare that Yes, I will still love God. God is my rock and my salvation, every breath that I take is His, I am enjoying tremendous blessings because He loves me. He loved me first, He knew me even before He put me in my mother's womb.

Now, I am desperate for God to grant me my heart's desire. But I will still abide in His plans because I know I can never go wrong.

EN2010

2010-07-28T10:29:00.002+08:00

I attended Every Nation World Conference 2010 in SMX Convention Center last week. Though it is not my first time to attend such gathering, it was my first time to truly be into it.

I arrived in Ninoy Aquino International Airport Terminal 3 around 4 AM with some of my churchmates. I stayed in the airport until 6 AM then went to Megamall to meet friends. Had breakfast with Roms in Jollibee at 7 AM, coffee at Starbucks with Angel at 9 AM, shopped by 10 AM and lunch at Teriyaki Boy with Erlyn at 11:30 AM. After which I took a cab and went to SMX. As my Life Group leader Cielo picked up my ID, I had to find her. But suffering from communication breakdown, I know I had to wait near the gates and wait for her. I saw my Ushering Team 2 leader Ria and we went together to the gates. There I saw Cielo with my ID pack.

After rehearsal for Parade of Nations, we went to have early dinner at Tokyo Cafe in the nearby Mall of Asia, then headed back. I saw the delegations from Japan and I told Cielo to hold me tightly when they call Japan because I might join them instead. I expected for us to be shaken in the conference, what with powerful speakers and all, but the building literally shook during the praise and worship.

Powerful, so powerful messages in the conference. Listen to it for yourselves.

The Banquet Table of the Lord
Every Nation Every Campus
Worship
Unleash The Hero Within
The Power of the Gospel
A Discipled Nation
Honor

Too bad that the messages from the Pastors from persecuted nations were not uploaded. So we pray that these nations will fall on their knees and declare that Jesus Christ is Lord and our Saviour!

For the next Every Nation World Conference in 2013, I will be a delegate from Japan.

a resignation letter

2010-07-12T15:47:00.001+08:00

DISCLAIMER: I DIDN'T WRITE THIS RESIGNATION LETTER, FOR ONE, I AM A LADY SO I DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

Dear ex-Boss,

I'm thrilled to inform you that I'm resigning.I have been waiting for what seems like forever to inform you that I’m resigning. I’ve hated worked for the company since the day I was hired. I don’t like the work, I don’t like my fellow employees, and I don’t like you.

I am tendering my resignation effective immediately and I’m heading for the open road. I bought a Harley and a leather jacket and my girlfriend, Aimee coming along. It was a little tough to find a jacket to fit her, but we managed.

I know you would like me to help you with a transition, but I won’t. Have fun figuring out the files on my computer. I can’t even figure them out most of the time.

Oh, speaking of computers, you’ll need to figure out the passwords to all our online resources. I forgot to keep a list of them, so have fun with that.

Don’t worry about writing me a reference, even though I’m sure you’d be glad to recommend my work. I don’t need or want one. I don’t need references where I’m heading. So, consider our bridges burnt.

See ya,
Happy To Be Gone

Life Goal #1

2010-06-28T09:02:00.001+08:00

To be baptized in Jordan River.

Two weeks ago, our church's senior pastor and some church members went to Israel for study tour. They showed pictures of where they went and what they did. And one of them is when they were baptized in the Jordan River.

It is so amazing! I know the feeling is incomparable. And I want to experience that. Imagine! To be baptized in the same river where Jesus was baptized. I might burst in tears.

Our pastor said that once in a while, they would hear some shooting sounds or bomb going off somewhere. Their guide said it's quite normal and they should not worry. Pastor said, that even if they do hear those scary sounds, it is supernatural that they felt so safe and secured.

Wow! I wonder when I can go there. I know I will of course. But I do pray that I would be going there with my family.

Freedom from Worries

2010-06-22T15:22:00.000+08:00

I was worry-wart. I tend to worry over things that either already happened or might happen. Especially in the financial area, I always worry, thinking that my allowance for this month is not enough. I know it's irrational. And sometimes I regret worrying because it means I will not be enjoying the present.

I read somewhere about worrying. It says "Why worry for what might happen. If it didn't happen, then you worry for nothing. If it does happen, then you worry twice." Waste of energy and time.

It is written in Matthew 6:25-34 25

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or
drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than
food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father
feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]? 28"And why do you worry about
clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet
I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of
these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today
and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of
little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we
drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things,
and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom
and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own."

We were reassured that God will take care of everything. We need not to worry. God gave us to choose freedom from worries, but in the present world, we tend to forget. Before mankind worry about salvation, God had already made plans for that.

So before any news of trial reach our ears, God already planned on how we are going to win those. It's knowing who's the boss of your life.

different people

2010-06-21T19:58:00.000+08:00

Last week, Orchard Road was flooded. Among the stores that were affected is the Hermes store. There was a comment somewhere in Facebook to swim int he flood and try to rescue a Hermes bag.

I don't see myself buying a very expensive designer bag. But I do understand people who are willing to spend for something they really like or want, because I am sort of like them myself.

I want to buy the Harry Potter 1-7 Hard Bound UK Edition. I already have the Book 1 of Japanese Edition but I intend to buy the rest when I get there. Mandarin edition is available here in SG, so I also want to get those. Then, when I get to visit teMaan and we can go to Paris, I also intend to buy the French version.

Crazy, am I not? It's not as if I can read the Mandarin and French Version, but wouldn't it look cool on my book shelves? You may not understand why and it's acceptable. After all, God designed each and every one of us differently. Whatever that can make my cousin happy may not make me happy.

Isn't God simply amazing? For creating us with our own identity, personality, strength and qualities that make us special. According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population) the earth's population is approximately 6.8 billion. 6.8 billion people who have their own way of how to smile, habits in eating, way of walking, sense of fashion, intelligence and a lot more others. Not counting the people who lived in the past 4000 years.

Seeing that all of us have our own unique mark just show how powerful and loving God is.

reasons of the smile

2010-06-10T19:42:00.001+08:00

i usually walk up to my officemate to ask him things, and he always ask a similar question at the end of our little discussion. the question is "Why are you always smiling?", in response, I will just smile again.
1. i know God loves me and that He blesses my every movement and every decision as well as bless my family and the people around me; that alone can make anyone smile even in their sleep.
2. i know that my family is saved and God protects and blesses them.
3. i know that i am loved.
4. i have friends who appreciate me and surprisingly also miss me; knowing that there are people whom i can trust and who trusts me.
5. i have a job.
if those are not reason enough to smile and enjoy life and be thankful, i don't know what else can make someone smile.

off the grid

2010-04-30T17:10:00.001+08:00

I will not be available online from 1st of May to the 10th of June. Meaning, I will not blog for the whole month of May, though it is evident that I haven't blog that often nowadays. Thanks to the work load at the office.

So there, I will be inactive from sites and apps including but not limited to Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, Skype, Gtalk, Meebo, AIM, Facebook, Multiply, Blogger, Wordpress and Twitter. Emails from friends will be redirected to a folder, both for my hotmail and office email account.

It's all for good cause. Let's wait and watch as the Lord's miracles and plans unfold in our lives.

Jesus is never away

2010-03-31T11:51:00.001+08:00

I was following a Philippine site on twitter until yesterday. The site admin posted on twitter the following:

We’re sick of saintly shows during Holy Week. Here are 10 demon movies to remind you to be good when Jesus is away.

I replied and told them that Jesus is never away and that they should not mislead their followers. What they posted is a BIG LIE. Jesus is never away. The truth is, He is always here for us, waiting for us to call on Him, for us to accept the salvation He is offering so that we could start receiving real blessings and most importantly, to feel God's love for us and in return to love God and to share His love to other people especially those we love.

Then I remembered. That was the way I was brought up to believe. My maternal grandmother usually told us to behave from Good Friday to Black Saturday, we were not allowed to take a bath, we were not allowed to laugh or play with cousins, because God is dead. I believed her of course. In my mind as a kid, she is older, she have authority, she knows everything. But that is a BIG LIE!!! Jesus surely died, but that was 2010 years ago and after three(3) days He resurrected, He conquered the grave. He is a living God, He doesn't die on an annual basis. God is alive! God is here! God is just waiting for us to have personal relationship with him and to declare that He is God and that we surrender our lives to Him, because, in all honesty, we cannot do anything without Him.

Anyway, why would we watch 'demon' movies? I believe what God did for me and what He can do for me. When Jesus did fasting after His baptism, a devil tempted Him, the last one was this:

Luke 4:9
9 The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. "If you are the Son of God," he said, "throw yourself down from here. 10 For it is written:
" 'He will command his angels concerning you
to guard you carefully;
11 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.'"
12 Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'"

Why would we watch troubling movies? Do we believe the power of the evil and then when we get scared, we'll run back to God and ask for protection? Of course, God will never leave nor forsake us. But why should we test God? Like what Jesus said, "Do not out the Lord your God to the test". Shall we not declare that God is sovereign in our lives than any other?

The devil shows us something that scares and thus we believe what the devil can do to us. But God wants us to believe first before giving us what we've praying for. We have to believe God's love for us that He gave us His Son, to pay for OUR sins. We are saved by grace, we just have to accept it.

It's like if I buy a gift for you, then I put it on a table on the next room, then I told you that I got a gift for you and it's on the table on the next room, you just have to get it. Would you believe it? Would you claim your gift? IT is yours, your name is written on the gift wrapper. All you have to do is to get it and open it as a way of acceptance. Then you can really say that you received the gift and then boast it.

It's the same with God. God made plans for us. He loves us so much that He wants to save us from condemnation. He sent His Son. God offered Salvation. All we have to do, is to believe in our hearts to accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, to believe that He died for us and resurrected after 3 days. Nothing can save us but that. As written in Ephesians 2:1-10, we are made alive in Christ.

1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

It is indeed clear not we cannot be saved by works, it is by Grace we've been saved. It is a gift from God. We just ahve to accept it, receive it with all our hearts.

engaged . . .

2010-03-09T22:24:00.001+08:00

. . . in an activity, that is. that's one of the definitions of the term busy.

I've never been this busy before (but still got time to update blog). I got training this week and on top of that, lots of work in regard with 2 modules, KT for another module, taking over 3 systems and 1 yet to come.

Though, believe it or not, I like it. I prayed to God to help me overcome my impatience in waiting (time), and He does know me so well that He gave me loads to do. So that before I know it, I am on land-of-my-dreams-bound. Of course, since He gave this tremendous blessings, that He's gonna help me get through with these.

I am planning of opening up a new blog for a new genre of writing, but since I am too busy these days, I will have to postpone it.

we so deserve this

2010-02-18T23:13:00.001+08:00

I've been busy with (1) work, (2) church activities and (3) my mum coming here, that I forgot to blog.

Niwei, I was given more tasks and responsibilities at work. And I have to keep up with my bible classes and of course to plan my mum and her friend's itinerary.

I just want to write in black and white that I am really, really happy for my friends right now. Really!!!!

One is just waiting for work visa, Two will be leaving tomorrow for a 6-months engagement on the other side of the planet, Three already found a job and has already filed resignation, Four went to a Europe trip end of last year and most importantly, Five has found a new love. :)

Everything's happy happy. Thank God for the blessings!!!

P.S. Though I am not sure if it's a blessing or not. But for the first time, I got sunburned.

wishes

2010-01-24T23:18:00.001+08:00

I turned 30 last week. And I am so happy and grateful that I get to spend my special day with my family, relatives and friends.

I just know that this year is yet another year of promises being fulfilled for me; of plans unfolding; of finally serving.

And because I know that my dreams will come true this year, I want to offer my birthday wish to my friends.

I wish each and everyone to find their purpose, achieve their goals, fulfill their own dreams and wishes and to enjoy their lives wherever the Lord's plan may take them.

Turning Thirty Blues

2010-01-11T10:53:00.000+08:00

When I was 17, I thought people who are 25 are really old, let alone those who are 30!!! It feels like so long ago. But really, the 17-year-old me is no different from who I am today.

In 5 days, I will really be part of the adult world. I can no longer be on the young adult category. I will be indeed an adult. And there's no stopping me from being 30. I mean, there's only one thing that can stop me completing my 30th year on earth, and that's death, so I say, I am so excited to be 30!!!

Besides, I honestly don't look like 30. Says so by many people. I often get mistaken as a college student. One more reward is that I get to smile when people can not believe I am 30. So yeah, I guess I should stop using anti-aging creams.

I will be having a birthday party on Saturday. I invited my friends and relatives. So since I invited my relatievs, I have to expect to hear the question "When are you getting married?" a million times on Saturday. And I have a ready answer.
"I am enjoying my single blessedness. There are so things I want to do and so many places I want to go, like visit Harry Potter Theme Park in Florida, join mission trip to Nepal, have my picture taken with Rizal's monument in Spain, explore Angkor Wat in Cambodia, shop in Bangkok and Phuket, see Michelangelo's artwork in Rome, and to see the place where my favorite Greek myths were set. I don't think I can make those possible if I am married, unless I married a very rich guy. And besides, I am faithfully waiting for who the Lord will send because I will not settle for others."

Maybe I should record this and when someone asks, I'll just play it over again.

I am good, I am okay. I've come to terms on turning thirty. Even if when I say my age aloud, I really feel like I am lying.

New

2010-01-04T06:43:00.000+08:00

We love new things, right? Who wouldn't? I, for one, never buy second hand goods. Well, except for books, but that's a different matter. Blame it on my being the eldest and the only girl and the fact that Riel and I have 7 years gap, that I receive most of my stuff new. I haven't had hand-me-downs. So you must understand why I don't patronize "ukay ukay". Nevertheless, I'd rather wear clothes given by my cousins than buy clothes worn by people I don't know.

When I was looking for a camera to buy, my classmates suggested that I should get second hand instead, because it's cheaper. But I really cannot bring myself to do that. I was thinking that more or less the second hand goods have damage in them. Might not be working properly. And I don't want to spend thousands on something that might be broken after some time.

I think it would be better to return those to it's maker, and properly fix it and then bring it back to the stores. It might be the old camera by looking at it but by using it and checking it closely, it's actually new. It's not the same camera that someone used to own.

It's the same with people. We may feel that we are damaged, broken and unworthy of anything good. We may feel that other people may not like us because we are beaten and done for. Let's make ourselves brand new. We can do that. We just have to return to our Maker. All you have to do is to give yourself to God. Accept Him in your life, acknowledge Him as your Savior, trust Him, let Him control your life. Stop the "just knowing He's there" attitude. Having a personal relationship with the Lord rocks!!! He can definitely make us brand new.

Whatever you are wanting right now, He can give you hundred folds better than that. Come on, He created everything, giving you whatever you want is so trivial and positively easy, that is, if He wants those for you because He might give the better one. Have the bestest friend you can ever have. Because at the end of the day, isn't it so good to know that it's not just you and your pillow anymore?

As for me, I still have the "Work in Progress" sign on my forehead. There are still a lot of things that needs to be done on me. There are lot of things I need to know. I think though, that I might continuously be a "Work in Progress". But that is so okay, since the One working on me is my master.

my 2009

2009-12-31T20:07:00.002+08:00

Honestly, 2009 came and went as fast as snapping your fingers. On January, I was so eager to finally be over paying my credit cards. By March I was already planning on when to go home.

When May came, I bought my ticket and by then I already had my countdown. A week before I went back home, I got sick. My once a year sickness.

And when I came back, I was busy tending to my brother and his girlfriend who came here with me. By September, I got the good news of being hired as a permanent employee. It means stability and thus I was so happy,

For 2010, I know it would be one of the best years of my life. Cheers to the coming year!!!! God blesses everyone!! Have a blessed and peaceful new year!!!

lots of giving to do

2009-12-15T08:13:00.001+08:00

They say it's better to give than to receive, so for next year, I am going to do a lot of giving.

1. I'll give me trips to Bali, Phuket, Macau/HK and Langkawi next year.
2. I'll give me a new watch. Since I can't afford Technomarine Ceramic Diamond, it will be just Timex again.
3. I'll give me new sets of clothes and shoes and bags.
4. I'll give me a new book on a monthly basis.
5. I'll have me go back home on January (Birthday), May (Elections) and December (Christmas)
6. I'll have me enroll back to Japanese class.
7. I'll give me a DSLR (Nikon or Canon).

Donations are welcome.

Christmas is about Christ Jesus

2009-12-09T09:25:00.000+08:00

It's not just about gifts and decors and Santa Claus. It is just so sad that Christmas has just become an event that businessmen profit most. Christmas is the greatest story ever told, and it's a fact.

Here in SG, though even the government noticed that Christians are growing in number, I just can't keep from feeling that Christmas here is just their excuse to shop, to travel and to get drunk. In JP, it is not even a holiday, they just treat it as one of those events where they can date the person they like. I've actually long decided to join discipleship when I finally go there to live and work. And also that's the reason why I am considering taking ENLI next year.

Christmas is about Christ Jesus, that's why it's called CHRISTmas. It is about the coming of the Savior on Earth, as was prophesied by Prophet Isaiah.

Isaiah 9:6-7 [6] For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. [7] Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. ...

Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

Last sunday, Ps. Charles mentioned that Bethlehem means House of Bread (Beth = House; Lechem = Bread). So meaning, the Bread of Life (Christ) was born in the House of Bread and was put in a manger which is a feeding trunk. Only to show, that God loves us so much that He just wants to give, give and give.

But in this time and age, with lots of different kind of difficulties arising every single day, people just tend to turn away from what God is offering us. Christmas is an annual reminder of what God is offering us. To accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior and to follow Him and to share the Gospel.

But of course, giving gifts will never be a fad. So, I'll post my wish list next.

Kinds of Woman

2009-11-23T08:41:00.001+08:00

According to Lynette Lewis, there can be three kinds of woman

1. I don't need a man. Who needs a man? I'm great without a man.
2. Do you know somebody who I could meet? Do you have a brother? Do you have a cousin? Please introduce me to someone.
3. Yes, I desired to be married but in the meantime I am going to live my purpose and fulfill my dreams.

Right now, in all honesty I am the third one. So what to do?
1. get healed and get whole
2. know your purpose
3. get a vision of what God has for your marriage and relationship
4. wait and never compromise
5. live big and live your dreams while you're waiting.

My love story is not just about me, but about the glory of God.

airports

2009-11-22T15:28:00.000+08:00

typing this from my phone while in train going home.

why is it that airports always makes me sad. why is it like synonymous to goodbyes?

i grew up being used to seeing my dad off. so used to it that it was no biggie for me. but now, when i see renz and vel as they queue up in the immigration, i could feel my tears threatening to fall. i have gotten used to their presence here.

i will miss them but i know that God is in work in their lives.

anyway, airports also means arrivals.

A Heart that Obeys

2009-11-20T06:24:00.000+08:00

My Life Group is on Chapter 4 of A Woman After God's Own Heart (by Elizabeth George) and it is titled "A Heart that obeys".

So how to have a heart that obeys?

1. Concentrate on doing what is right.
Take the time to ask God for His guidance. Pray, think, read scripture and ask for advice! Never decide on something without praying. We must consult the highest authority.

2. Cease doing what is wrong.
Even if we do what is right, we have to stop what we've doing that is wrong. Maybe like gossiping or saying impure words that has been our habit. In Hebrews 2:18 "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted." We can trust the Lord that He will help us to stop doing wrong things.

3. Confess any wrong.
We may feel that what we did is unforgivable, but hey, news flash. if we confess to the Lord and to a brother here on earth, if we ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven. Remember, it's not what we did but what He did for us.
(1 John 1:8) If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
(1 John 1:9) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

4. Clear up things with others.
I will post a whole blog dedicated to this one

5. Continue as soon as possible.
"Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead...(and pressing) toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Jesus Christ." Phillipians 3:13-14. To be able to move on, we must forget the past sins but be very careful not to repeat those again.

Echoes of Our Hearts

2009-11-09T11:05:00.000+08:00

Echoes of Our Hearts
Joe D'Mango

Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times when we love so much that we lose ourselves in our emotions. More often than not, we wonder why there are love that grows, and love that grows cold. We would start to search for answers and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been....silent, mysterious and deeply profound.

Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and then freely open our arms when its time to say good-bye.
When we fall in love, we don't want that feeling to end for it is everything we are, everything we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts. But if it doesn't then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.

There is always a reason why we have to move on. When we have to say good-bye to the feeling we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart. For love will have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever.

Then we'll know that love never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. Love will always be there, reminding us that we should be thankful and happy not because we have lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feeling called love lived in our hearts and made us happy.

remembering the plastics

2009-10-26T08:02:00.000+08:00

like in any other developed countries, i can buy everything online here as long as i have debit or credit card. from airline tickets to movie tickets, from hostel reservations to visa extension.

now, i get to remember the plastics i used to have. i know you could relate when i say that you felt you can buy anything, anywhere, anytime. just like what becky bloomwood said that she felt the world is good and pretty again when she shops.

i first used my credit cards mercilessly when i was in japan. i was walking around because i still don't have a bike, when i saw this dvd shop that sells the then newly-released dvd of harry potter and the order of the phoenix. after several minutes of asking him if it is in english, i finally asked him "kado o tsukatte mo ii desu ka?" (can i use card?) he said yes so i gladly handed my card. the dvd costs Y5k.

next time, i remembered that i asked shirakawa-san if there's uniqlo around and then almost immediately she printed a map going there.

it took me 30 minutes to uniqlo only not to like the clothes there, good thing it's neighbor is also a thrift dress shop called shimamura. i took several clothes, tried them on and did mental calculations. it was around Y8k. Not bad i said, because i got seven different clothes. i was smiling and singing on my way back to the hotel.

i bought my bag and Nintendo DS Lite by cash but i used my card once again to buy online for R4 and memory card and a cartridge to make surfing the internet possible in NDSL. i already forgot how much those where.

i loved fuji grand mall in matsuyama which is so near to the hotel where i stayed that it only took me 10 minutes to get there by bike.

when i went to the bag section, i saw wallets of same style but different colors, the brown one stood out. I looked longingly at it but knew better than to ask the salesperson if they accept credit cards. i left the wallet in its place. but every time i pass by, i didn't fail to look at it.

on my last weekend there though, i just couldn't resist not buying it. i said to myself that i am not always in japan and that i might regret not buying the wallet.

so i took the wallet and went to the salesperson and asked her if i can use my card, she said yes and so Y7k was swiped off my card. Jet later told me how stupid i am on buying a wallet so expensive but "brand less".

then i went and bought "little things" for my nieces and nephews which amounted to about Y8k. and then i bought some stuff for my japanese office mates and a birthday gift for shiryo. those amounted to Y8k. then i went to the souvenir shop and spent about Y6k.

for everything, my card was swiped.

as of this writing, i've been card-less for 9 months. i don't exactly miss the cards, they had given me trouble worth a life time. the next time i apply for any card, it will be a debit card, which i will just be using in buying airline tickets online, and maybe as well as movie tickets.

go there

2009-10-20T07:18:00.000+08:00

Being here in SG, public transportation is quite easy and convenient, especially if you are using gothere.sg to help you.
-----------------------------------------------------

From 415 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10 Singapore 560415
To Bukit Timah Plaza 1 Jalan Anak Bukit Singapore 588996

Total time 60 min
Total fare $1.50

1. Walk
2 min
141 m
Walk to Blk 354, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8.
2. Bus
9 min
waiting time
3 min
journey time
162, 853
Board at Blk 354 54321, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8. Alight at Blk 322, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3, 2 stops later.
3. Walk
1 min
62 m
Walk to Blk 324 54248.
4. Bus
10 min
waiting time
31 min
journey time
74
Board at Blk 324 54248, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3. Alight at King Albert Park, Bukit Timah Road, 26 stops later.
5. Walk
4 min
281 m
Walk to Bukit Timah Plaza.

-------------------------------------------------------
Now, let's imagine, we have a site like gothere.ph.
--------------------------------------------------------

From Glorietta 3
To IBM Bulding, Eastwood City

By bus and jeep
Total time: undetermined/depends on flow of traffic/might be an hour
Total fare: upto Php 50
1. Walk
Walk to the bus stop in front Glorietta 3 in Ayala Avenue.
2. Bus
Signboard: Cubao, Fairview
Waiting time is probably just 1-2 minutes as buses are many.
Board in front Glorietta 3 in Ayala Avenue. Alight in front of Robinsons Galleria in EDSA. Number of stops depends on how many times the driver will be asked by the passengers to stop and the times the driver will see a passenger on the street.
3. Walk
Walk to Ortigas Avenue, left of Robinson's Galleria. There will be a dispatcher shouting "Rosario, De Castro".
4. Jeep
Waiting Time is around 5 minutes or depends on when the passengers are all squeezed in the jeepney.
Signboard: IPI/Rosario/De Castro/Cainta
Board the jeepney on the left of Robinson's Galleria. Tell the driver that you will be alighting in IPI. Don't worry, if you see an intersection with flyovers, and most people are getting down, it might be IPI. Number of stops still varies.
5. Walk
Walk to opposite IPI. A dispatcher will be shouting "Cubao/Citibank".
6. Jeep
Signboard: Cubao/Citibank
Waiting time is aorund 5 minutes or depends on when the passengers are all squeezed in the jeepney.
Board at opposite IPI. Tell the driver you will be alighting in Citibank. Alight in front of Mini Stop which is just adjacent to Citibank.
7. Walk
Walk towards Citibank, IBM Building is the 3rd building.

By Taxi: prepare upto Php200, if the driver is honest as well as his meter, then you might be charge around Php 120.

scarred

2009-10-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

unlike any other scar, this one wont go away. it will stay there as a reminder, that once in my life, i was happy playing, then i fell down, i got hurt, i got wounded.

it is quite easy to do those letting go and moving on stuff, but it is never easy to forget.

and i dont think i will forget, i jusrt hope that next time i remember, i will just laugh and be happy that i just got scarred.

communication

2009-10-09T06:27:00.000+08:00

At home, we have two big drum-like containers which are older than my two brothers. Inside it are plastics old pictures of my parents and plastics of cards and letters that my parents sent to each other from late '70s to late '90s.

I also quite remember that my mum and I would make a tape recording of our voices whenever someone from the company will be joining the same ship my dad was in. It really is just a pity that the tapes didn't survived the years. I heard myself counting or reciting something, or singing or telling stories. There were also some questions that my mum would ask me (in the tape) and I would answer wittingly and innocently, not knowing that those already have double meaning. Adults, really!!!

In mid-80s, when my mum was still working in Crispa, my dad would call in her office, and sometimes, my mum would bring me to her workplace so I could talk to my dad. Well, not really her workplace, because kids weren't allowed on the real workplace, my mum would leave me in the lobby. I would stay there sitting, waiting for my mum to come down. Maybe that experience taught me how to patiently wait.

By 2000, mobile phones became available. Our first mobile phone is a nokia and is really HUGE!!! I think you could knock out someone with it. But communication was made a lot easier for my parents.

Just two weeks ago, my mum have finally learned how to send an email. Now, she and my dad emails each other everyday!! It won't be long before she would know how to chat and maybe, just maybe, use facebook.

taking the backseat

2009-10-08T06:35:00.000+08:00

As of this writing, I am:
10857 days old or 260568 hours old or 15634080 minutes old

approximately . . .
86856 hours were spent sleeping
36300 hours were spent in school
14520 hours were spent working
21714 hours were spent travelling
32571 hours were spent in eating
11136 hours were spent in church
21900 hours were spent watching tv and movies
2784 hours were spent in Japan
4032 hours were spent in Macau/HK/China
9264 hours were spent here in SG
100 hours spent on drinking with friends
840 hours spent on shopping

for those 86856 hours, I know that the Lord is with me for about 938044800 seconds.
i might have only asked Him to be in control in my life on my 183960th hour, but it was never too late nor too early, it was His perfect timing. wherever i am right now, it is because of His love for me.

It is never too late nor too early for you to ask God to take control of your life, especially if you feel you're tired already, there's no better choice than to seat comfortably in the backseat and let Him drive your life.

on mobile

2009-10-04T17:04:00.000+08:00

I got my mobile phone plan yesterday afternoon. they were offering the phone I want with a very minimal cash out. though it would mean that I will have yet another mobile number.

I got a data plan of ! GB monthly.

this is the first time that I took a mobile phone plan. even in PH, I didn't like the idea of receiving bills. but its a different story here, besides it's included in my monthly allowance.

and since renz, my brother, is using my lappy as if it is his own, this new phone comes in handy.

btw, it's sony ericsson xperia or x! that im using in composing this one.

the jacque bermejo facebook controversy

2009-09-29T10:11:00.001+08:00

angel gave me the link for a hate page for this girl. posted by her account, she made the following comment amidst Metro Manila being tormented by Ondoy.

"buti n lng am hir in dubai! maybe so many sinners back der! so yeah deserving what happened!"
of course, what comes next is great tirade of hate comments. (i cannot repost the image of the thread, check it here --> click here)

i was angry when i read her post. but i didn't write a comment on any of her blogs/site that were posted on the hate page. the multipy account was so active, every second there's a comment. and then there's a couple of people whose mission is to spam the guestbook. last i checked it have almost 20,000 comments. some people even made an effort into photoshopping her picture into weird stuff. like there was one wherein she was all covered in poopoo (sorry) and in front of her mouth is a spoon full of poopoo, really eeeww. as of this writing, the account has been cancelled.

as of yesterday afternoon, there was an "official" statement from her brother, saying that her accounts were hacked by someone who's really angry with his sister.

right now, i just pity her. if it was not really her who posted that comment, she should have asked her friends or relatives to immediately release a statement about her account being hacked and so as not to make things worse. if she indeed wrote those comments and the hacking issue is just her way out, i pity her more. but on either accounts, i can only pray for her. if she is innocent, i pray that the real culprit be apprehended. if she isn't, then i pray that she finds enlightenment within her heart and reflect on what she did.

try to google her name, she gained fame though through hatred.

ondoy's wrath

2009-09-29T06:09:00.000+08:00

it's unimaginable. though i've experienced floods, those were nothing like what happened in the past weekend. because even though we were flooded, there was always time to bring all our things up to the second storey of the house. by the time the water comes in the house, all of our things are safely crammed in the rooms. and the water usually just reach upto the 3rd step of the stairs.

saturday morning, though it was so hot here in SG, i know that there's a storm in PH. but i only get to understand the magnitude of the storm when i saw the status of some of my friends cursing the storm. i checked the news and saw the heart-breaking pictures. i called my mum just to check if they are okay. well i know better than to think that our are will be flooded, because we are situated in a very high place, but of course, they got to be alert of flash floods and landslides coming from the banahaw mountain.

there was a list of the flooded areas and when i saw my friends' areas listed, i immediately called them. teMaan's house was flooded but they are okay. teMalou was okay since there were no flood in their area. jet and teJing were not answering, i didn't bother to call roms and dref because i know they live in a building/condo and my international balance is running low.

for a full minute, i was worried for my 2 nephews, ein and ees, until i googled the places currently flooded and didn't find their area listed. but of course, i called my mum to tell her to consistently call the boys' mother. this morning, she was able to talk to ein. praise God.

hormones

2009-09-24T12:16:00.000+08:00

kelangan ba talagang i-blame sa hormones? kapag feeling mo sobrang sad ka at parang sampu-sampera ang luha sa'yo, lalo na pag may nakita ka na mga bagay na magpapa-remind sayo ng mga bagay na nangyari, na minsan eh nagpasaya sayo. ang nakakatawa pa, kadalasang walang pinipiling lugar kung kelan mo maalala ang mga bagay na yun, bigla bigla na lang sumusulpot sa utak mo na parang kabute.

minsan, iisipin mo, mabuti ka namang tao, mabuti kang anak, mabuti kang kapatid. wala ka namang ginawang sobrang sama na sukat ika-karma mo.lagi kang nagpaparaya, nagbibigay, naghihintay. pero hanggang kelan? gusto mong isigaw, "hindi ko pa ba turn?. ang gusto mo lang naman ay maging masaya. maaring meron kang mga bagay at pagkakataon na wala ang iba, pero naniniwala ka naman na sobra sobra ang kabutihan ng Panginoon, at nde Sya madamot para ipagkait ang mga bagay na gusto mo, ang kelangan lang eh maghintay. pero tao ka lang din naman, naghihintay, umaasa, nangangarap, humihiling, naiinip, napapagod.

kelan ka ba huling ngumiti ng sobrang totoo, yung tipong buong maghapon nakangiti ka lang kahit walang tao sa paligid mo, dahil iyon ang impulse ng katawan mo, dahil totoong masaya ka lang. parang ang tagal tagal na 'no? parang ang layo layo na. tatanungin mo kung may ganung pagkakataon pa ba sa hinaharap?

oo. naka-move on ka na, nakabitaw ka na mula sa mga magagandang nangyari sa'yo dati, na syang nagpahirap din sayo. pero sa naiwang sugat sa puso mo, kalungkutan ang pumupuno. gusto mong maniwala na darating din sya, kahit magmukha kang tanga pag sinasabi mo sa sarili mo ng paulit ulit ang "darating din sya". pathetic, pityful, desperate.

maasar ka sa sarili mo, ba't kelangang ganun ang maramdaman mo. susubukan mong ibaling sa ibang bagay, sa shopping, movies, games, travels, friends. pero at the end of the day, pag ikaw na lang at ang unan mo, andun pa rin ang realidad, na nag iisa ka pa din.

the lost symbol got lost

2009-09-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

i should have waited for the paperback, which is a lot cheaper.

Dan Brown's writing technique didn't change which made it boring and i was almost correct in guessing what the next part was. one-third through the book, i already know the true identity of the main antagonist. it was too predictable. I guess Dan Brown's magic is getting rusty.

a circus called the philippine senate

2009-09-14T12:28:00.000+08:00

isn't it funny? you could almost thought they were bff. but now, upon the arrival of a witness in relation with the dacer-corbito double murder case; and the witness pointing ping and erap responsible for those murders; they were like cockroaches placed in an aquarium and was sprayed with insecticide.

ping has certainly stopped being friends with erap. it was made official today during his privilege speech telling what he know about the deposed president which will have a second part on monday next week.

right after the speech, jinggoy immediately got up and said that what ping said are all lies and he will not dignify whatever ping said. though jinggoy said that he will have his privilege speech tomorrow with a promise that if ping doesn't stop lying, he will also tell the person ping is.

funny, isn't it?

the jet fan blog

2009-09-10T06:07:00.000+08:00

It started last week. I was reading a blog where the blogger's and his friends' conversation were posted. It was funny, but I know our very own Jethro's spiels are much funnier. teMalou and I were chatting when I was reading it and I told her the idea of setting up a blog solely for, as we call it, Jethro's syndrome. She was all go for it, promising to contribute. But because we were having thoughts on what to name the blog, I paused it for another day.

Currently, the site have over a hundred posts, in a span of four days!

And I have to apologize for my contacts in Multiply if you witnessed a sudden flood of posts from me. I didn't realize that my blogger was on cross-post.

If you want to check it: http://thejettersforbearance.blogspot.com

a testimony

2009-09-07T14:04:00.000+08:00

i want this to be a testimony.

i am currently swimming in blessings.

i got a promotion which means job security and pay raise.

my younger brother finally decided to continue seafaring.

my older brother and her wife went to riyadh two weeks ago to work.

my youngest brother and his girlfriend finally received two calls today which means job for them.

if the Lord can give these things, why should I doubt that He can give more.

He can even give me someone to share and enjoy these blessings and together to give back the glory to the Lord.

passport matters

2009-08-31T06:05:00.000+08:00

an online buddy asked me yesterday if it is true that the good ol' green passport will not be valid by 2010. I googled and found this:

http://www.philippine-embassy.org.sg/index.cfm?GPID=229
Validity of Green Passport

The regular green passport will continue to be honored by immigration authorities world-wide until its period of validity ends.

So i said, oh, it was okay. I can still use it until it expires on April of 2011. I intend to apply for a japanese visa on february with that passport. I mean, I already had a japanese visa, so I guess it won't be a problem if i apply here.

but i goggled some more and found this:

http://www.pinoymoneytalk.com/machine-readable-passport-philippines/
Take note that the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) require all member states to issue machine readable passports no later than April 2010. This means that after April 2010, other countries can decide not to accept into their borders any foreigner who holds a passport that is not machine readable.

It will really be troublesome to be denied entry, right? Just because your passport is not machine-readable. So I guess, I will just have to renew mine.

forgiveness and blessings

2009-08-28T07:42:00.000+08:00

Matthew 5:23-24

23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Even though I've been a Christian for 8 years now (was baptized on my 2nd year) I know I am still a baby when it comes to faith.

But I've found proof on Jesus' teaching about the verse above. It is indeed true. That before we offer anything to the Lord, we must settle our rifts with other people. Of course, the Lord will not withheld all the blessings for you, He is gracious and loving. He is more than willing to give us what we want as soon as we ask Him; well of course in His exact timing and usually better than what we asked for.

In my own opinion, it means when you are offering something to the Lord, you are also offering your heart; so if you have grudge with someone, it is like a stain in your heart. would you want to offer something to the Lord which is stained?

not yet confirmed but . . .

2009-08-27T12:51:00.000+08:00

i was called by the other team's manager for a talk, she asked me about how frequent i go back home (pinas) and what are my career plans. so i said, i intend/plan to stay here in sg for 2 to 3 years more. then she told me that one of the perms had tendered her resignation and they would want to scout from our midst first before entertaining others.

when she said for permanent position, i already said yes, the only thing that held me back a bit is that i will be transferred to the other team wherein i have no idea whatsoever what they do.

but hey, who am i to complain. right now, it's all hush hush until it's confirmed.

my vacation

2009-08-25T09:54:00.000+08:00

after the countdown, i am back here at work again.

aug 8 - arrived in NAIA Terminal 3 by 4:05 am. went to malate for reese's Christening, by 1 pm, headed to megamall but was not checked up because i haven't had a proper sleep.

aug 9 - went to church, went to visit my grandfather's grave, went to visit my grandmother

aug 10 - went to EO - SM lipa for my contact lenses and eyeglasses.

aug 11 - went to visit my best friends and vel's parents.

aug 12 - stayed at home, looked after reigne.

aug 13 - went to lucban's kamay ni Hesus

aug 14 - went to manila to meet friends, lunch in EW with teMaan and Hazel, shopping and snacks with teJing, dinner with everybody in Brazil Brazil in Serendra, then KTV in CenterStage.

aug 15 - left CenterStage by 5 am, went for a pancake fix in the nearby McDo, then headed to teMalou's place for a quick nap, had early lunch in jollibee glorietta then watched a local movie. by 2 pm, i headed back home.

aug 16 - went to church then went to san pablo with parents, did my groceries then best friend erlyn came around our house with her husband.

aug 17 - went to san pablo to buy clothes and other stuff.

aug 18 - went to batanggas to visit cousin

aug 19 - left batanggas by 7 am and arrived home before lunchtime. went to liliw to buy shoes and bags and delicacies.

aug 20 - packed things, and in the afternoon went to visit grandfather's grave once again, as well as daday's. had my fix of fishball, isaw and other street foods.

too fast, is it really over already?

What's good with SQL?

2009-07-28T15:44:00.000+08:00

I was minding my own work around 2 this afternoon when 3 of my office mates came in from their late lunch.

Office mate 01 : What was that again? With querying?
Office mate 02 : With SQL, you can INSERT, ROLLBACK, INSERT and COMMIT.

I told this joke to my friends. teJIng provided the best retaliation yet.

teJing: Do you want your TABLE to be TRUNCATED?

What's the difference between a fairytale and yesterday's SONA?

2009-07-28T09:12:00.000+08:00

I was surprised when teMalou asked me this question yesterday. There are so many plausible answers. The one that is currently circulating is: Fairy tale is a story that's not true with dwarf in it, while SONA have a dwarf telling a story that's not true.

My answer was: In a fairy tale, the lead is always lovable, whereas in SONA, it is not.

teMaan's answer was: They both have wicked witch.

Jet's answers were: Fairytale have happy endings.
And: Not all fairy tales have dwarfs.

three days

2009-07-23T16:02:00.001+08:00

for three days, i was confined to my room. it is not as if i am not allowed to go out, i chose not to.

when i was on my way to see the doctor last monday, i was afraid to hear that i was infected with the famous flu. so i obediently took my meds and slept. but when i woke up at 11 that night, I already know that what i caught is just a normal flu, because i was feeling a lot better.

i spent my 3 days off in bed. well, not sleeping. believe it or not, i was working. can't blame me. i need to finish my tasks so I would have no problems whatsoever when i leave for vacation.

can't wait.

feels so surreal

2009-07-15T07:45:00.000+08:00

Imagine my surprise/shock when I saw my best friend Erlyn's post in facebook on Monday. Her new baby's pictures!! I commented and asked why she didn't send me a message. I immediately went out of the office and dialed her number. She was not picking up so I went back in and left a message again on facebook. I called Jen but she didn't also pick it. Later in the day, I saw her reply in facebook and told me to call again. I did. She said she sent me a message and she was actually expecting me to call the moment she sent that message. I said I never got it.

I am definitely getting a new SIM card. There's no signal for my phone service in our office.

Anyway, her son's name is Matthew Avery. She was CSed (if there's such a word) even if it's 3 weeks early to her due date. She had high blood that's why they have to make the delivery early. Then I called Jen, I told her that since she can't bear to take public transport, would she want to go with me when I go to visit Erlyn. She said yes and so that's settled. Jen's pregnancy is delicate and there's a lot of things she's forbidden to do.

After I hung up. I kinda feel that I'm dreaming. I mean, 10 years ago, we were just so caught up with our little campus organization and busy with politics, were pretty occupied with researches and programs and projects and thesis. It really seems like just yesterday. We've gone a long way from those nerdy-looking campus famous girls. I am not boasting. We were really famous back then, in politics and in studies. We were so good in what we do that we were able to balance organization activities and studies. Never failed a subject, we had. Always receiving messages that someone is looking for us, most probably for help with something. It was grand.

But now, Erlyn as a mother? I asked her what does it feel. She said, extremely happy. Erlyn as a mother? Just can't help grinning, sorry. And don't start me with Jen. Pregnant Jen? I could almost laugh for hours for this one. I mean, this is the girl whom on her 19th year didn't know what 'crush' means. Whom, also on the same year, when asked how a baby is conceived, she will only answer 'it is because the sperm fertilizes the egg'. We asked how the hell the sperm got near the egg, and she just frowned on us. I think Erlyn and I laughed the whole day. We feel it's kinder not to tell her the truth. Might scare her to death.

For me, I will of course be named godmother to their first-borns. And, as I am typing this, I am confident in saying, that my turn is not so far now.

I feel so old

2009-07-01T11:25:00.000+08:00

I called my mum last night because I want to talk to my cute chatty nephew Ein (Reigne). But he was in in my sister's house, which is next door, and would be sleeping over.

So I ended up hearing stories from my mum about Ein. But when my mum casually mentioned that Mark Louie's girlfriend brought a dozen of donuts for Ein, I could almost cry.

Wahh!!! Mark Louie? Mac Mac? Who will turn 15 this October. The one whose first birthday, I saved my allowance for his balloons. And that's Mac Mac only. My pet, Mark Lester just started high school, and with his wits and looks, there's no denying that he'll soon find a girlfriend too.

Why do they grow up so fast? Why do I get old so fast? Wahhh!!

a bad case of headache

2009-06-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

That's what I told the doctor when I went to get a medical certificate. It really is a hassle to take a a sick leave here, even if it is just a day, a medical certificate must be obtained.

I was given two set of medicines which I unceremoniously put on top of my table.

I did nothing today. Just watched. And watched.

I decided to stop watching Japanese series for the time being. I will be doing something starting on Wednesday for 40 days. It would be better to give up on something I really want. Because the reward after is much greater and much fun to have. I am certain of it. The promise was reaffirmed yesterday, so I have nothing to worry about. Nothing really.

It will also take my mind off my going home in August. It will be difficult I know, but it will be worth it. So worth it, I can't wait to start, that I will actually start it tomorrow. Just to be ready.

I admit of course that I am after the reward, but in the process, I am also excited for any realization or obtaining of maturity that may happen. I pray that I can do this well.

odds

2009-06-20T13:09:00.000+08:00

what are the odds

that i'll walk into some place

meet someone remotely acceptable

who'll be single and available

and not a mental case or a booze hound

who'll call when he actually says he will

whose light will be on

who everyone will like

and who i'll eventually, years down the line

end up happily married to?

---------- Vicky Harper (Do you want to know a secret? - Claudia Caroll)

Aboard Pegasus Diamond

2009-06-13T15:19:00.000+08:00

pre-adventure:
Had dinner in Pepper Lunch, went to lucky plaza to buy phone card, and stayed in Borders Wheelock Place until 9:45.

ready.set.go.
Took a taxi just outside Wheelock, after 10 minutes, I was able to hail a cab. Told the driver where I want to go. He was clueless, he didn't know exactly the place I told him. "Pasir Panjang Terminal, I need to get to Port 14 but I am not sure which gate", I said. He brought me to Pasir Panjang Ferry Terminal. When I read the sign, I told him "No, not here. It's where big ships docks and unload cargoes." He was still clueless so I got off, went to the nearest bus stop and looked. I saw "Pasir Panjang Gate 3", I took the bus and was scanning the signs when I noticed I am no longer in Pasir Panjang Road anymore. I got off the bus and hailed another cab.

good samaritan
the next driver also didn't know the place, so he took his street directory book and looked. He saw the Gate 3 sign and we went there. On the gate, the guard stopped us, so the driver asked where the hell is Port 14. He said how to get there but he said we won't be allowed to come in. After sometime, we came to the right gate, which is Gate 4. I paid and sent a message to my dad. It was already 11:30.

another hurdle
As I was standing near the ICA (Immigration office), a guy from inside came out and asked me how he could help me (nice). I told him that I have to go inside the Port. He motioned me to go to the Temporary Pass Application Window. I told the guy there my situation and he told me that if I have no pass then I can't come in. So I sent a message to my dad telling him of my situation. He never replied, so I was guessing he ran out of load. So there I was sitting near the TPA window, waiting for any answer when my phone rang. It was their agent. He told me he would be giving me a letter so I could apply for the pass. Half an hour later, he arrived and another 15 minutes later, we were on our way to the ship.

small city
The port is big, that the agent told me how lucky I was to be able to go inside in a car rather than in the shuttle bus which have timings. That part of the country certainly never sleeps.

destination: pegasus diamond
Just as the car stopped fronting the ship, a guy was climbing down the steel stairs with rope and a ladder. It was 1 in the morning. He created a "brdige" for me to use, though I guess the gap was only about half a meter. Within 10 minutes, we were in an elevator going to the upper deck. Wahhh! It was so hot inside the elevator. I was introduced to the crew, who were drinking and eating in a room. Then we went to my dad's quarters. I handed him the cds and dialed mum's number. I looked around the room and I can't be mistaken to say that we are really the same when it comes to keeping a room. It's not messy but it's also not organized. He have lots of documents attached to the side of his fridge, written in Japanese. I was reading the label of one of his toothpaste when he told me that it's sensodyne. I told him it's not. I was sure that I haven't misread the katakana, so I told him it's not sensodyne but surely is a toothpaste. I opened his fridge, nothing there. I could have asked for sashimi but I restrained myself. He was already tired, why would I drag him back to his workplace on his time of rest, right?

time to go
By 2 am, we left my dad's quarter's, went to see teh ship captain to say my thanks. We found him in a room with two more Japanese. My dad introduced me. I said "konnnichiwa", I stopped myself from talking too much. The japanese guy on the left said "bikkuri shita" which means he was surprised. Well, I guess witht he fact that I greeted them in nihongo. They answered back. The same guy was asking my dad if he showed me around but my dad didn't understood what he said. I can't blame him, I only understood what the guy said because I am used to hearing a japanese speak english. Then my dad excused ourselves, so then, I bowed and said "Arigatou gozaimashita". Though sitting, they too bowed. We took the oven-elevator again and when we got off, that's when I noticed the cars parked neatly. I stopped and told my dad "Can I have one?"

My dad walked with me half-way to the bus stop. It will take him half an hour if he accompanied me to the bus stop(inside the port). He won't be left behind of course, but he can't be the cause for the delay.

the way back home
In only about 2 minutes waiting in the bus stop, the bus arrived. He asked me if I am going out and I said yes, so he he dropped me off in a yet another bus stop and told me to wait for bus number 2. 10 minutes later, the said bus arrived.

When I finally exited the port, I called the taxi company's number and asked for taxi. The thing is, they also don't know where I currently was despite the explanation I told them. I said "PSA Gate 4 in Pasir Panjang Road". The girl was still clueless so I just said it's okay and hung up.

No choice now, I walked. Walked. Walked. Walked. I think taht was a kilometer walk, no kidding. When I got to the highway/main road, it took me about 10 minutes before I got a taxi.

I was home by 3:15 am. It was tiring, but I am happy.

a childhood dream coming true

2009-06-12T06:38:00.000+08:00

From the day I was born, everybody never fail to say that I am a splitting image of my dad. Maybe that's the reason why they say I am my dad's favorite. And plus the fact that my Dad and I enjoyed each other for a long time before I got younger brothers.

Whenever my dad leaves to go back to his work, they say that I always tell my dad to put me in his suitcase, nobody will know. Or since during that time, all the well wishers are allowed inside the airport and fence was the only thing that separates those who are leaving and the well wishers, and I was able to squeeze myself through the fence, I told him I can go with him. We also have a picture wherein I was crying hard and was clinging to my dad.

Tonight, after 25 years, even for four hours, I will be able to make a childhood dream come true. I am going to my dad's workplace for the first time. Their ship will dock here in SG tonight, so I am going to the port to meet him. I am going inside their ship!!!

Yey!!

ganun pa din

2009-06-11T18:11:00.000+08:00

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askign and receiving

2009-06-10T08:13:00.000+08:00

i dont want to doubt, because i believe, but the impatience is getting the best of me. i know i must wait faithfully, but like many other things, it is always easier said than done.

is it still possible for me to go back? my applications there have been fruitless since i started job hunting last year. i am grateful to be here, i acknowledge that being here is already a blessing. not so many people are blessed with what i am enjoying right now. i am thankful, i am.

i know that what i am asking is not much. it is written in the Good Book that ask and you shall receive, the Lord's blessing is always more than enough. nothing is impossible for the Lord. i should not be feeling this way. i should feel reassured, right? but sometimes, being a mere mortal comes up, and thus the impatience resurfaces.

I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.
(Psalm 34:4,5)

The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry.
(Psalm 34:15)

The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
(Psalm 34:17)

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
(Psalm 37:4)

Thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee. In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.
(Psalm 86:5,7)

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
(Psalm 91:15)

The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth, He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.
(Psalm 145:18,19)

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.
(Isaiah 65:24)

Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
(Matthew 6:8)

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
(Matthew 7:7,8)

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
(Matthew 7:11)

And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son ... If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
(John 14:13,14)

For we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
(Romans 8:26)

Whosoever shall call on the name of the LORD shall be delivered.
--Joel 2:32

Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.
--James 4:8

inspired by temaan

2009-06-08T14:14:00.000+08:00

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2004 vs 2009

2009-06-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

rian 2004: two weeks change of clothes is fine, can live with it
rian 2009: four weeks change of clothes is definitely not enough, must shop more.

rian 2004: life is quiet and boring
rian 2009: life has become quiet after an emotional tsunami

rian 2004: doesn't eat sushi and sashimi
rian 2009: can't imagine life without sushi and sashimi, must have japanese food once a week

rian 2004: didn't have plastics
rian 2009: no longer have plastics

rian 2004: tagalog, english
rian 2009: tagalog, english, japanese

rian 2004: quezon city
rian 2009: singapore

rian 2004: 3310
rian 2009: K750i, Nintendo DS Lite, Panasonic Lumix, Acer laptop

rian 2004: friendster
rian 2009: facebook, multiply, blogspot, live spaces, opera

rian 2004: have 2 single best friends
rian 2009: have 2 married best friends

rian 2004: single, unattached, sane
rian 2009: single, had let go, crazy

rian 2004: no goal
rian 2009: japan, i'll be back!!!

the quest for a familiar taste

2009-06-01T06:11:00.000+08:00

I wanted to stay late for finish at least one of my task last friday. But I had a commitment, so I left at quarter to 7. Walked to the bus stop; took the bus to MRT station; took the red line and alas! I alighted two stations after the station I was supposed to alight. So I went back and walked, walked, walked. I met Carn in front of Suntec and together we walked towards Marina Square.

Good thing Carn knew the location address (02-02) so we searched for it. In about 15 minutes, we found it. There is no wonder that it was difficult for us to find it because it was on the veranda. We came in and we were seated near the window. We looked at the menu and I thought that cravings really have a price to pay. We ordered Chopseuy, Lechong Kawali, Ensaladang Mangga, Kalabasa soup for Carn and Mushroom soup for me.

Ensaladang mangga came and my jaw dropped. There was so much. It was good for four. Carn doesn't eat fish paste due to her allergy so I get to eat those. Then the soup arrived, I almost could roll on the floor laughing. The soup was good for two. By the time I finished my soup and had some ensaladang mangga, I was full already. Then the main course arrived; and I breathed. The servings were good for two, just enough for us.

It was enough to satiate the cravings until August. What I am really craving for is Ginataang Langka and fried Tulingan with tomatoes and onions.

By 10, we requested for our bill. We paid SGD72. Fair enough. It's not as if we will go there on a weekly basis.

growing apart

2009-05-29T08:10:00.000+08:00

Last night, I got to chat with pregnant Erlyn. We already talked about Jen's wedding when I called her last weekend, so we just basically talked about my upcoming vacation. Then she told me something that bothered her during the wedding.

She said she felt that she was just an ordinary guest.
- I told her to let it go. She also got married and she know that the newlyweds are the stars of the day and that Jen sure was busy. And I joked that it's just her hormonal changes.

Jen didn't even ask her to be her matron of honor.
- I told her that in our culture, it is still very rare to have a matron of honor instead of maid of honor.

She wasn't even asked to say something. Instead the maid of honor who is her colleague was declared as her best friend and was given the chance to speak.
- On this note, I just send a hugging emoticon. Then I told her I'm so past the stage wherein I constantly felt that I was not needed anymore. There were times before that when she comes online, she never replied to any of my IMs; that she didn't answer my calls; she was too busy to meet us. I know that she has started to cut us from her life when she didn't tell us about her then-boyfriend-now-husband.

She has grown apart from us. She now have her own little world where she no longer need us. I tried to tell her everything that happened to me in the land of Oz when I came back. But she doesn't seem interested so I stopped. On the back of my mind I said that it's okay. Everything's not all about me after all. But yeah, I kinda felt bad that she's not interested anymore. So when I call her and she asks me about how am I doing, I just answer "okay lang", even if I do want to tell her that I'm struggling or that I've let go and moved on. I mean, she doesn't have knowledge of what i went through because she was not interested to listen before so I am guessing she will just say "Why is that?". People who read my blog must have better knowledge on the going-ons in my life than her.

It just saddened me that with over a decade of friendship, she can throw it away like that. But I do understand. I am left in the world she used to live, while she had moved to another plane in life.

This is life. For me, she is a friend I cherish, she is not just someone I met in college and did thesis with. I just hope that she will remember we are still here for her.

broken eyeglasses

2009-05-26T06:51:00.000+08:00

I am thankful that my eyeglasses broke sometime in April of 2004. Though it cost me about 8k pesos to replace it, the events that followed can never be priced.

If my eyeglasses were fine, I would have started work in TM a week earlier. I would have not passed apprenticeship. I would have not meet the people who turned out to be the craziest on earth after sometime. I would have not been this blessed. They are blessings, indeed.

After 5 years, I can say that I am really, really lousy with first impressions.

Before, I thought teMaan is the kind if girl who would never do anything out of the norm. Recently, my jaw has been dropping a lot.

Before, I thought teMalou is someone who lives on routine and wants everything to be planned ahead. Today, just mention a place you want to go to, and in a minute's notice she'll be packing her bags.

Before, I thought teJing is a very uptight and very hard to please girl. Today, all I have to do is to go home and meet them, and that will make her happy.

Before, I thought aris is a no-nonsense guy. Today, well . . . . he's still a guy.

Before, I thought Jet is just a geek. Today, he's someone who's very determined and can survive anything with laptop and starbucks; and yes, still a geek. He's also the person to go to if you want a rational point of view which sometimes hurt.

Before, I thought Roms is just a crybaby who need constant guidance. Today, he's someone you can depend on. He shows how he appreciate the people around him by needing them.

Before, I thought Xelle will always be there to chat with; to talk life developments with. Today, she's doing better than ever.

googled a classmate

2009-05-22T07:25:00.000+08:00

I was googling for a picture of 'mami', my hometown's version of ramen, when I came to a multiply site titled Tiboism. I looked at the profile picture and I immediately recognized the blogger. He's a high school classmate. He was a late enrolee that time. I clearly remember one of my classmates announcing that we had a new classmate. When he came in, he sat on the last free seat on the leftmost seat on the last row. Everybody approached him and asked for his name, because unlike in many schools, new students and transferees don't get to introduce themselves in front.

Anyway, his name is Paul Ryan, which is really quite easy for me to remember, because most people read/pronounce my name as Ryan as well. And I also remember that he was the third Paul in the room, the first two are Paul Anthony and Paul John. So as not to be confused, the class gave them nicknames, PA, PJ and PR.

He was one of the elite in the class. I mean, our own class are supposed to be elite; cream of the crop; but they still have their own group. The brainy and the good looking ones. So having that category, I am no longer eligible to be with them. (ahahahahahaha) I also happen to remember him because he was quite nice to me. I mean, I was an outcast, so of course I will remember those who are either nice or horrible to me.

I wonder if they would greet me when they see me. I mean, except for my weight I didn't change much. Believe it or not, I was not this fat when I was in high school, my waistline was 25 back then. Ahhhh, those were the days.

That's also the reason why I didn't attend the reunion. What if I came and nobody talked to me? It will be just like high school all over again. So maybe if there will be another reunion, I will make sure Leannie or Myra will be attending too.

That's why I envy Jet and teMaan and teMalou, because he still gets to be with his high school friends. But then again, I have them (Erlyn, Jen, teMaan, teMalou, teJing, Jet, Roms, Aris, Dref, Leo, Mike and Xelle), who needs high school friends?